Yahweh Shows His Provision Through A Luggage Ticket

So I've recently come home from a teaching conference in Columbus, Ohio. It was very interesting and useful, but it lasted until almost 1:00 on Saturday. Check out time at most hotels is 11:00, and so we had to put our bags in this special room that the hotel has to hold luggage while we attended the rest of the conference.

In order to ensure the security of our bags, the hotel keeps the room locked and a person inside of it and gives us tickets to match the ones they put on our bags. We are supposed to show these tickets to the person inside the room so that they can give us our bags back.

So I get my tag and put it in my pocket and we go to breakfast and then to the rest of the conference. Now, everyone knows we should not put things in our pockets if they are important and we don't want to lose them. Why I forgot this, I couldn't say, but I noticed during the last session of the conference that morning that I had lost my luggage ticket.

This was slightly worrisome because the hotel had made it very clear that they did not return bags unless the luggage ticket was produced. Still, I had no idea where I had lost the ticket and the conference was held in a convention center that was bigger than the school in which I teach. It could've been anywhere! Not only that, but it could've been in the hotel itself, at the restaurant where we'd had breakfast, or on the street between the hotel and restaurant. There was no way I could, by diligently searching, hope to come upon this lost ticket.

Since this was so thoroughly out of my control, I didn't worry overlong. I reasoned that the hotel would have to give me my bags eventually and we'd have to figure something out. Since my two favorite shirts were in that bag, I certainly hoped so!

So the conference ended and my friends from the school I teach at and I were deciding on where to go get lunch before we picked up our bags and headed to the airport. We tried the food court in the hotel, and found some moderately decent fast-food type restaurants. The rest of downtown Columbus seemed too much to walk in the frigid weather, so we had to decide whether we wanted to eat in the food court or walk to the restaurant right across the street where we'd had breakfast.

The more we talked about it, the more we wanted to return to the restaurant where we'd eaten breakfast earlier that day. We still hadn't claimed our bags yet, so we didn't have to drag them around with us.

When we got to the restaurant, the lady who seated us decided to seat us in the exact same spot where we'd eaten breakfast. She sat us there even though there was another option because one of my friends was in a walking boot since she broke her foot earlier this school year. It was there, next to the booth where we'd eaten breakfast, that I found my luggage ticket!

Happily surprised, but somewhat wondering if this could possibly be my exact luggage ticket, I put the paper in my zipped up backpack front pocket (see, I learned) and ate lunch. After that, we went back to the hotel and claimed our bags.

I was even more glad I'd found the ticket when the hotel clerk made a big show of checking our tickets before returning our bags to us. I also found that the number on my ticket matched exactly the number on the other half of the ticket that was attached to my bag.

Yahweh provides! Whether or not I spent the whole morning worrying  about how I was going to get my luggage, He had that ticket there for me to find all along. In realizing that I had no control over finding that ticket, I saved myself hours worth of worrying and still found the ticket anyway.

Meanwhile, Yahweh proves Himself a faithful father once again, and I am thoroughly blessed.

The Seeing of the Unseen

Faith is the seeing of the unseen. Vision is the root word of "evidence" from Hebrews 11:1. Those who can see what isn't seen can make it manifest in substance.

Sometimes, it is hard to be the ones who see the unseen. It can feel like failure, like going backwards and re-walking a path over and over again. It is those days when you're feeling awful, like that dream of your heart is so far beyond your grasp, and you wonder why because you remember feeling better months before, remember holding and touching and feeling that very same dream and you're not quite sure how it slipped away.

How could it have slipped away unless you did something wrong, for a promise of Yahweh is never void, and He does not renege on what He has spoken.

But faith is the seeing of the unseen, and so the process requires a period of darkness after you've seen that dream of your heart. Sometimes, that period lasts a short time and sometimes it feels like it will never end, but the time period of unseen does not matter nearly so much as the promise itself.

Because it is during this time of not seeing that faith is made complete, that the promise that Yahweh gave you of that deepest desire of your heart is closer than ever to permanent manifestation. You are about to touch and hold and live in that dream and desire of your heart forever, for before it was a dream in your heart, it was first a dream in Yahweh's.

Your faith makes Yahweh's dreams come true.

I am full of faith right now, though I do not feel it. I feel very much on the edge of failure. I feel very alone and uncared for. I feel very sad and afraid. But I have seen and I remember.

I have seen a time when I did not wake up in dread of each day, fearful of messing up. There was a day when I knew that I could not break what Yahweh has established, when I realized that I was not going to mess anything up because Yahweh has already redeemed it. It's all His and in His hands anyway, and I do not have to carry this burden.

I have seen a time when I knew for certain that I was not broken. No longer am I lacking anything. Yahweh has made me whole. I don't have to fight myself or fear my feelings anymore. I am not at fault for anything that is happening in or around me. Yes, there will be times when Yahweh corrects me, and when He does it is not with blame or guilt, but with gentleness and care.

I have seen a time when I had a home in my Father. When there was someone to take care of me, to protect me from everything that might try to come against me. He ordered my steps and arranged my life to lead me back to Him and the place where I was always meant to be all along. I can trust Him as a Father, as One who is always on my side, will always take care of me. Always love me. He will never leave me and I will never be alone. He has always been faithful in the past, and I have seen His faithfulness all my life.

I have seen the place where I will live, and it is just ahead of me. It is a place of infinite trust in Yahweh, of leaving things in His hands and not having to control anything. Of trusting Him to keep my heart safe even when all around me are circumstances and situations designed to pierce it and tear it to ribbons. In this place I will walk in a greater level of freedom and rest and peace than I have ever known before. I glimpsed it for a little while, but now I shall walk in it permanently. For I have seen it.

I have seen, and I remember. The light shone in the darkness and the darkness will not overcome it. Faith is the art of keeping the light on when all around you is darkness, the steadfast holding of the Word that you've seen even when you cannot fully envision it anymore. Faith is seeing the unseen, and this time is just part of the process of maturity.

For if sin, when it is full-grown, leads to death, fully mature faith leads to the manifestation of Yahweh's promises in the visible realm so that all can see what we've seen all along.

And when this happens it is called glory. So glory! HalleluYah! I have seen.

Home

What is home?

I am not sure I really understand this yet. But I think, I know, that I am beginning to have a home.

I've never had a home before. Not like this. Oh, I've had wonderful houses that I have lived in. The house I live in now was positively a gift from Yahweh. And the windows are so. awesome. (Windows!!) But a house is not a home.

Home is a safe place. Home is a place where you can rest and not fear what might try to come against you. I've always thought that home is a place that you can be yourself, but then I didn't really know myself, so I couldn't have been me if I tried.

There is so much more to home than this, however. Because home is where the Father is. In our society, most people don't have a home anymore because it takes a father to make a home. And while many of the Earthly fathers of this nation haven't been able to create homes for their families, a home is available for everyone who receives Yahweh as their Father.

There's always been this part of me that feels just a little bit lonely, a little bit left out. Our ecclesia really puts an emphasis on family, for that is Yahweh's order and government. His original idea was for families to care for each other and to rule over metrons--areas of responsibility--together. The original word for "nation" actually is "birth," and the original countries were based entirely on families who grew and spread out to rule vast areas of land.

Yet, what about those of us whose families are not ready to take their places in the Kingdom order? There are some of us who don't have earthly fathers, mothers, husbands, wives, etc. who are willing to line up with Yahweh and help us steward these metrons that we have been given. Sometimes, this can be hard because, while there are pastors and people who are very kind and willing to help where they can, there is no substitute for family. There is always the inevitable time when you have to return to an empty house and, alone, prepare for the responsibilities that tomorrow will bring you.

But Yahweh does not leave us as orphans. He promised to come to us and to give us the spirit of adoption. He promised, in other words, to be our Father. And in our Father are many homes. There Yahshua prepared a place for us, and we came to the Father through Him.

This home is not a physical location. It is not in one place at one time, but it is in Yahweh. He is my home, and He is my Father. In Him I am safe. In Him I can rest and not fear what might try to come against me. In Him I can be myself, for He has shown me myself and He has made me into myself. He helps me reign in my metron, for He gives me the grace to do so. And it is here that I have found my home.

Though I do not understand it, for I've never seen a home like this before. I have friends whose dreams are to travel the world and visit foreign places, and while I find travel fun and exciting, I have always dreamed of having a home. I've tried to push aside the loneliness, to save the things they say about family for the "one day" and the "not yet" when Yahweh will do something new in the far distant future.

Yet here I am, beginning to see what "home" is, realizing the dream far earlier than I ever thought possible, a dream that part of me thought would never really be possible. But with my God all things are possible. Yahweh is so amazing.

Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. ~John 14:1-3

The Beauty of Redemption

We've all heard that regretting the past is a waste of time. We can't go back and change it. Yahweh's forgiven us for it, so why can't we forgive ourselves? It's only hampering our future to focus to intently on the past.

None of this is wrong, but I find there is another reason for not regretting the past that is not talked about nearly so often. Redemption.

Redemption is when Yahweh takes something that was broken and makes it whole again, when He makes sure that something negative becomes positive, when He takes what was never meant to be and turns it into the very thing that He had envisioned from before the foundations of the world. Redemption is beautiful. Redemption is amazing. Redemption is glorious.

Think about the state of the world right now. Wars and poverty, hatred and death. All throughout history we've had genocides, murders, depravity. The worst of the worst that can happen when man tells Yahweh that He doesn't get to be a part of the very world He created. If you're like me, you can see the degradation that society is existing in right now. The laws the United States has recently enacted, the militant anti-Christ that is working in this world. It all points to destruction and that can easily lead to despair.

But think of all that which seems to be utterly insane, a one-way ticket to Hell in a hand basket. Then think about redemption. The realization that Yahweh can actually fix all of that, that He can take the people who are enacting these horrors and perpetuating these evils and change their hearts and make them do the very opposite of what they've done all their lives. The only requirement for Him to be able to do that is that a man let Him into His heart and give Him free access to work His redemptive power therein.

I think about Paul, formerly Saul of Tarsus, who was part of the biggest detriment to the growth of Yahweh's Kingdom that existed in his time. He actively persecuted and killed Christians, even holding the cloaks of the men who martyred Stephen. He felt no remorse for this; he thought he was doing the right thing. He would have continued to persecute and murder Christians for the rest of his life believing that this is what he was supposed to be doing. Yet, when He met Yahshua on the road to Damascus, He was changed from the inside out. Allowing Yahshua to work in Him and through Him, He became one of the greatest assets to the growth of Yahweh's Kingdom. He wrote 2/3 of the New Testaments, started countless ecclesiae in the Mediterranean, the Middle East, and Asia Minor, and was responsible for the spread of the Gospel to the Gentiles.

Redemption.

It is utterly amazing that Yahweh was able to change such a man so thoroughly, use his life so completely that we, today, are still benefiting from his faith and the things he did through his faith.

I look back at my own life. It is hard to describe the lack of freedom I once walked in. I was clinically depressed from the age of 10. I still remember the summer I first began to take Prozac. I was just about to start 5th grade and I was so embarrassed that there was something wrong with me that I didn't want anyone to know I had to take that daily pill. Over time, I began to wallow in the sadness, to believe that nobody would or ever could love me. I gained so much weight that I topped out at 387 pounds. I tried to hide away from the world because I was afraid of it. All it ever did was hurt me, and I was sure all I could ever do to it was be a detriment. I did not look too far into the future because I was afraid that what I would find there, all I could ever be, was more of what I was then living in. A psychiatrist told me that I could expect a major depressive episode at least once a year for the rest of my life. Why, then, would I want to continue living? I hated myself, I hated my life, and I knew vaguely that there was a God out there who had sent His Son to die for me, but I did not have the relationship with Him that I do now.

Yet, He was there for me all along, and the life I live now is exceedingly, abundantly beyond anything I could have ever imagined or dreamed. I was healed of depression, I've lost 200 pounds, I have a job where I am helping people and doing good in the world. I have friends that love me and whom I trust.  And what's even more amazing? When I look to the future, I only see more joy, more beauty. One day I shall have a husband and children. One day I shall change the world. And what I see is not even all that will be because even that shall be exceeded, more abundant.

It would be easy for me to regret the past. Sometimes, I wish I'd had the freedom I do now when I was in college or high school. My life would've been a lot different. I would've been one of those teenagers with friends who go hang out at the movies at night and have a curfew and parents who are waiting for you when you get home. But I didn't have that then. Instead, I have what I have now, and I get to hang out late at night with friends all the time.

Because Yahweh has returned to me everything I'd lost.

And so I am grateful for the past. For the horrible times and the times when I was just holding on to life by a thread. I could easily have died, for suicide presented itself as an option to me many times over the years. But I did not because of Yahweh. Because I knew my life was and is His and I did not want to steal it from Him as the last thing I did on this earth.

Then look where He has taken me. The contrast between what was and what is is unfathomable to those who haven't seen it, haven't lived it, themselves. Yet, I believe that the contrast gives Yahweh a greater glory and I hope it will show others, as Paul's life did, that Yahweh can truly do what is impossible in any situation so long as He is given access. Trust Him. He is good.

Because redemption is beautiful. How can any being take all that is horrible and ugly in this world and make it perfect again? But that is what Yahweh will do, what He did when Yahshua died on the cross and said, "It is finished." When He said "finished," He didn't just mean done. He meant perfected. In other words, He said, "It is perfect again." Perfect again... Redeemed.

Yahweh... He created an infinite universe that was utterly perfect. He put every intersection of space and time, of people and places, of hearts and beings and feelings, everything that ever was, is, or could ever be He mapped out and made to flow perfectly. The unrolling of creation was the perfect symphony of harmonic sounds, the perfect blend of colors on a canvas, the perfect combination of words in a poem. And then it was broken, slashed into an infinite number of minute pieces that we as part of creation kept trying to fix but could never have fixed because the pieces were so small that we couldn't even see them. Yet He fixed it. He put it all back together again. He redeemed creation.

Redemption is beautiful. So the past is beautiful. It is not something to regret, it is something to provide a contrast to what we are living in the present so that we can be more grateful to Yahweh having known lack than we would have been if we'd only ever lived in plenty. So that Yahweh can be seen as more glorious for having redeemed what was broken. Because I don't think I would know how perfect my life really is right now if I had not known the oppression that I lived in before.

The horrible and wonderful process of redemption allows me to know Yahweh. He is worth it. So I am so grateful for the process.

Walking on Water

Matthew 14:22-33 tells the familiar story of Yahshua walking on water. I won't recite it all here, but basically as He is walking toward the disciples out of the storm, they are all very frightened because they think He is a ghost. In their minds, only a ghostly being could walk upon water.

When He calls out, "Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid." Peter answers Him saying that if it really is Him, He should call out to Peter and Peter would get out of the boat and walk on the water to Him.

Now, Peter is often disparaged in this story, but consider the faith it took for him to get out of the boat. Then, when he starts to sink--for the waves were strong--he called out, "Lord save me!"

Every time I've heard this story, I have heard Peter derided a bit. Yes, he has been given credit for getting out of the boat, but it is often said of him that he "had starting faith but not finishing faith" or that he "began to doubt halfway there that he could even walk on water." Tonight, Yahweh showed me something different.

Because when you start to sink, crying out to Yahshua to save you is the exact right thing to do. There is nothing wrong with, when you're out on the water--walking in your purpose--and the waves start rising--opposition comes against you--you going back to Yahweh and rest in His Presence and have Him remind you that He is Lord and He can save you.

Which is all Yahshua was doing when He reached out and said, "Oh ye of little faith. Why did you doubt?"

Because Peter was not doubting simply that he could walk on water. He was doubting the Christ. Yahshua was saying, "Why did you doubt yourself? Why did you doubt I would save you? Why did you ever think it was even possible for you to sink and drown? Don't you trust me?"

And when He reached out His hand and saved Peter, Peter did have finishing faith because Peter did not drown. Peter got back up and walked back to the boat with Yahshua.

Now look at our lives. I am in the middle of my second week of school with students. Before school started, I was all gung-ho walking in freedom and, "Let's go walk and run and dance and play on the water!"

Then, the waves started getting higher. Some things happened that were not expected and not pleasant, and while sometimes I responded right, I know there are times when I started to sink. There was definitely one night when I had to cry out, "Lord save me!" Does that mean I failed? That I didn't have enough faith? No, because I called out to my Lord, my Christ, and He did save me. He showed me this:

Never believe you are sinking. Never doubt you are walking on a solid surface. It is not the exterior appearance of the surface that you are walking on, whether that be water or cement or rock or sand, but the internal Presence of Holiness that causes the surface to be smooth and steady, certain and solid. This--Holy Spirit--makes your path sure, for did He not promise to direct you paths if you trusted Him with all your heart? (Proverbs 3:5-6) He did not specify out of what material your path would be made. He only said it would be a path and that He would direct you in it.

Also, my awesome friend brought the song "Oceans" by Hillsong United back into my life last night. I hadn't listened to it in a while, but it is an amazing song. The whole thing is about walking on oceans and trusting Yahweh no matter what and I remembered tonight as I was listening to the Spanish version that "Oceans" was the first song I tried to dance to in November 2013.

Because in November 2013, I mysteriously and temporarily lost the ability to walk for a time. I regained that ability slowly and with practice and I have received a lot of revelation from it. One day, the first time I could take a shower by myself again, I was in the bathroom at my parents' house and I was listening to "Oceans" and walking in a circle (because that was all the dancing I could do at the time.) I was worshipping Yahweh and walking. How marvelous is the ability to walk!

But I remembered that tonight and it made me realize this: you cannot walk on the water if you cannot walk at all. The external, the circumstances and the surfaces we are called to walk on, is not the issue. The issue is what--Who--is inside of us. Because the Christ in me is the hope of glory. It is He who taught me to walk again. It is He who gives me the courage to step into what seems impossible and it is He who will keep me safe and sound until I reach the other side, until impossibility becomes commonplace and His glory is complete.

HalleluYah! I can walk on water! My Christ is in me and He will keep me safe wherever I go.

Testing, Testing....

I've been thinking a lot about testing lately. As a teacher, I know what testing is for, and I use it a lot in my job. We all know what it is like when Yahweh tests us.

Our response to a test determines how we view the concept of testing. If we were poor test-takers in school or if tests produced fear and anxiety in us, we are not likely to view testing as a positive thing. The anxiety comes from the worry that we will not pass the test, that we will somehow fail and have to go through the whole process of learning again just so that we can come to another time of testing and attempt to pass once more.

I was always a good test-taker in school, largely because I have a good memory and a good grasp of writing, so tests in school never bothered me. However, until recently, the tests that Yahweh gave me always produced a feeling of anxiety. Firstly, I had that fear of "what if I respond wrongly and have to go through this whole process again?" Secondly, I always felt that the reason I was being tested was because I had done something wrong.

As a teacher, I know better. We do not give tests arbitrarily. We give tests when we come to the end of a unit, when we are sure that our kids have learned everything they need to learn to pass this test, and when we think they have all the tools needed to do well. No teacher wants their students to fail. I have, many times, postponed a quiz on the day I planned to give it because I saw that my students just weren't ready.

A friend once told me that she saw tests as an opportunity to show everyone how smart she was.

This is how we should view tests too, for Yahweh is a good teacher, certainly better than I. He does not throw tests at us at random times. He gives them to us when He knows we're ready for them. He has taught us a concept, given us a revelation, and now He is showing us what we know. He is omniscient, so He knows what we know. He does not need to test us to see what we are capable of. We, however, need to see what we are capable of.

So He gives us a test, not because we've done something wrong but because we've done something right, because we've moved into a place of maturity where we have learned enough to be tested on something. He gives us a test to cement what we know in us, so that we can never doubt that we know what we know.

Because once we've passed that test, any subsequent adversity that tries to come against us and say that we don't really know something seems silly. We can hold up that passing of the test and say, "Oh, no! You can't fool me. I know what I know!"

Testing is a good thing, though it doesn't always seem so in the moment. It is a sign of maturity and the ending of a season. Once we pass that test, we move on to the next unit, the next concept, the next revelation, the next dimension. We needn't be tested on that concept again, or at least not in that way. Yes, that concept may show up on a later test, in a later unit, but it will be more in depth, more detailed. You're only going to learn more! You're only going to grow!

And then there's the pre-test. That test you take before you start a unit so that your teacher can tell what they need to hit hard and what they can quickly mention and move on from. Pre-tests tell you what you already know, and then they tell you what you're going to learn.

Again, pre-tests are not bad. We cannot be perfect yet, so we cannot know everything. It is no shame to need to learn something, and pre-tests give us direction. They, too, can give us confidence because often we know more than we think. Still, even in the things we don't know, we find that Yahweh is a patient teacher and that He will teach us all that we need so that, when we come to the test at the end of the unit, we will see how much improvement we have made since the beginning.

Sometimes, the contrast is a beautiful thing.

Life Lessons from a Hornet

Last night, I came home exhausted from a long day working in the sun and then going to ecclesia, which is always awesome, but ends late. Also, it's the annual end-of-summer threshold. All I wanted to do when I got home point was go to sleep. It was about midnight when I was ready to do so.

I was journaling after ecclesia just before bed when I notice a giant (huge, enormous) insect flying around my room. It looked somewhat like a hornet or wasp-type thing, and though I wasn't actually close enough to examine it, the possibility that it was a stinging type insect was there and real.

I have been afraid of stinging insects, and basically insects in general, since I was six years old.

So I spent the next hour trying to find the stupid sucker because it disappeared and I wanted to kill it and sleep because I was pretty sure I couldn't sleep unless I found it, but I had to find it and spray it because I didn't really want to get close to that sucker. Plus, the last place I saw it was RIGHT BY MY HEADBOARD! I was miserable and crying and yes, I cussed that...insect...out a bit.

Ironically, I had been learning about fear recently. Kingdom people have no room to fear, and every year at the end of summer, the enemy tries to put me through the fear-wringer. This year, Yahweh has given me so much beautiful revelation and peace that the internal fear that the enemy used in years past wasn't strong enough to distract me as it had been.

Enter the hornet. Because if the enemy can't distract you with one fear, he will try another. Yes, on the grand scheme of things, fearing being stung by an insect is small and stupid, but it was a distraction that kept me from going to sleep for an extra hour when I really needed sleep. I doubt Yahweh needed me to focus on the stupid insect when we could've been resting or talking together about something else!

All of this showed me that even the stupid little fears we have need to go. I have learned that it's not my job to get rid of them, however, but simply to trust Yahweh and allow Him to remove them.

I never did find that hornet. I spoke death over it, so I hope that it is dead and gone and will never torment me again. (Because, really, it is trespassing! This is my metron and I did NOT invite any insects into it!) But I did go to sleep. I slept through the night with a hornet in my room. It may still be here somewhere. But I am at peace because I trust Yahweh. Trusting Yahweh is the only way to have peace.

And for whatever fears my try to come against me:

I am not a slave to fear
For Yahweh's called me,
brought me here
He takes my hand and leads me in
To places where I've longed to go.

My Amazing Summer

Wow. This summer has been amazing. I love walking out my life with Yahweh because I am never the same person from month to month. I love growing and changing and being more of who He made me to be before the beginning of time.

I am a vastly different person leaving this summer than I was when it began. I walk in new revelations, I live in a new place, and I have stood on foreign soil.

The most amazing thing about this summer, I would say, is that Yahweh has taught me some things about life, about Him, and about me. I have learned to trust Him more, to believe that whatever I experience in life is in His power. No, He will not cause bad things to happen or even allow bad things to happen as if that is His desire all along. Yet, in His sovereignty, He can redeem all of the things that happen to me and make them good. He has made me good. Sovereignty is amazing because somehow, some unfathomable way, He made justice and mercy one again. He fixed everything.

I have learned that I am not broken; not a terrible person or a waste of space. I am not something that needs to be fixed, improved upon, or put back together again. I was, but I am not anymore, for Yahweh has made me whole. He has given me life and revelation of that life so that I can actually walk in it instead of only hoping for it. He has shown me that He loves me and, though I am not perfect, all I have to do to grow is let Him work in me. I don't have to strive or make things happen. Again, all I have to do is trust Him.

I have learned about the immutability of Yahweh. He will never change, His Word will never change, His will toward me will never change. I cannot break His Kingdom or make Him stop loving me any more than I can fix myself or make myself holy.

And then, He gave me a house. It's a little house, cute and perfect for me and my dog. The rent is less than it was in my apartment, and the house has so many beautiful windows. I don't have horribly loud neighbors playing the bass at all hours of the night or smoking illicit substances downstairs. My windows are open to see Yahweh's beautiful nature that He created. My yard is large and green and my landlord mows it for me. And Yahweh gave it to me to live in. Tired of apartments, I searched for a house online and none of them were in my budget range; it was not even doable to be able to live in a house on my own. Just when I began to give up, my coworker offers me this house to live in. He gave it to me, I did not have to seek it out.

And then I went to London. I've read so much about it, I know so much of English history, and to see the places I've always read about, paintings I've seen online that I'd never seen in person. To stand on foundations that were thousands of years old and touch soil that was not the land I was born in. It was amazing and it was marvelous. And I couldn't have ever afforded it without Yahweh. He gave me this, too. And then He used it to teach me some things about people, about being in a family and loving people no matter what happens and knowing that they will always love you, too.

Finally, I got a new car. It is used, but new to me. It had less than 17,000 miles on it and it is less than a year old. It is exactly what I've dreamed of in a car since I rented one in 2011. It has all the latest technological capabilities and everything I wanted. Again, I could never have afforded it without Yahweh. The car retails used for $2,000-$3,000 more than I could pay, and my trade-in was damaged. Still, I was diligent and I believed that He would give me the car He had for me. I did research and test-driving for two months, and then I felt a peace, like my car was out there. One day, I'm looking up cars on the Internet and I find it. The exact car I want with everything I wanted on it for an exactly affordable price. It was only $200 above wholesale value and I drove 3 hours to get it. Driving home in my new silver car was the sweetest experience. Again, Yahweh gave it to me. While I was faithful in my part of research, I did not seek out or jump at bad offers that were "almost right." I waited for Him to give me the right car, and when I found it, I knew.

It has been a beautiful summer, and my visions of the future are bright and beautiful. I am being called on to operate in some of the graces Yahweh has placed in me in new ways next year. I get to pour into the lives of many children that I love. I finally get to feel like I know what I'm doing. And I will walk into this next school year a different person than I left the last one. More confident, more steady, more me.

It is the year of shining brightly and it is time, once again, to bring Yahweh's glory into the Earth in new ways, expanding His Kingdom one step at a time. I am Faithful and He is perfectly faithful. And as I cross this threshold into the new school year, I do so in faith and confidence because I am graced for this. I am not broken. I am capable of all things in Yahweh.

It is such an amazing thing to be at peace with my God and myself.

Thank You, Yahweh!

You Are Not Broken

I'm writing this post, being real, in hopes that it will help someone else who has gone through similar things to what I've been through. I know many women, and probably men, too, go through these kinds of things. For absolutely no explainable reason, and through no fault of our own, we hate ourselves.

I don't know what it is about us that makes us downplay our strengths and highlight our faults in our own minds, but it is all too easy to do. Even when there's no specific fault in view, often there is a general discontent with who we are as people. Then, there are the actual flaws that are inherent in being human. Heaven forbid I actually make a mistake on the job or someone next door does something better than me! I just must be too terrible of a person. Somehow, I failed. I didn't try hard enough, I was too lazy to bother, I just can't do it as well. It would probably be easier if I just didn't exist. After all, I take more from the world than I give to it.

It doesn't even really help to know that the person next door who does such a good job at what I cannot do is feeling the exact same way I am for equally ridiculous reasons.

I have to believe that this is all part of the fall, a ploy of the enemy to keep us from returning to Yahweh, who really, really, really wants us back. I mean, He wants us back so much that He was willing to cut Himself off from His own perfect Son and sacrifice Him on a cross, gruesomely, to get us back. But He can't make us come back to Him, and if we are so sure we're not worthy of it, we may never come. Clever enemy. He can't stop Yahweh from loving us, so he decided to do the next best thing and stop us from loving ourselves.

And this self-loathing is not based in reality, so it cannot be reasoned away. That bad day on the job? Yes, realistically it was one bad day in which I was simply tired and so were the kids and so I lost my temper. Still, I must be the worst teacher in the world, right? I mean, who yells at children? Or maybe I just might make a mistake later today... Perhaps I, even with the best of intentions, might unintentionally sin, or even give into temptation and intentionally do something I know to be wrong. The fear of messing up in the future is just as hampering as the regret over having messed up in the past, and just as unwarranted, for it denies the power of Yahweh to redeem and fix any mistakes that I might make. As if the power I have to mess up is greater than Yahweh's power of redemption. My heart is pure. I desire to please Yahweh. He is big enough to ensure that I do.

So if self-deprecation can't be reasoned away, can't be argued away, what can we do? We could, perhaps, strive really hard and work our tails off to be better than that teacher or neighbor next door or become super saintly and do a lot of really good deeds and avoid doing bad things? Except that self-confidence based on what I do only lasts as long as that good deed. It's impossible to stay on top forever when striving in our own efforts. We just don't have enough energy to be the best all the time. If we did, we wouldn't need Holy Spirit and the power of Yahweh to save us.

So if we can't reason away self-loathing, and if we can't be good enough to outdistance it, then what? The answer is simple. Our self-worth must not be based on something as arbitrary as feelings or as changing as our own actions or comparisons to others. It must be based on something that is constant, steady, unchanging. It must be based on Yahweh Himself. On His unchanging Word.

And do you know what the most amazing thing is? His Word is that we are not broken. We are not bad. There is nothing wrong with us. He has redeemed us. All we have to do is let Him, is believe this truth. No matter what we've done or thought or not done enough, no matter what we might do tomorrow or fail to do the next day, we are not broken. We are loved. This will not change, and as long as we allow Yahweh to operate in our lives, we can never be broken. We can never be less-than. And we can allow ourselves to accept the one thing we've always desired all of our lives, the Love of Yahweh. We can come home.

So think about that. Make the enemy's day horrible and love yourself, for Yahweh loves you. He accepts you. You are not broken.

Everything

Romans 8:28 says that all things work together for the good to those who love Yahweh and are called according to His purpose. I used to cling to this verse hoping that it were true because I was miserable, and I hoped that misery was at least somehow working some good somewhere.

It was.

Yahweh does not cause bad things to happen. He is good and so that would not be in His nature, and yet, He does redeem those bad things to the point of full redemption, if we let Him.

I am living in a time of profound gratitude for all that Yahweh has done in my life. It's rather amazing. I'll spare the gory details, but I've been through some pretty horrible things in my life. I know there's worse things out there, but I went through some things that I never wish to experience again.

I was clinically depressed for ten years. I weighed 387 pounds. I had no friends, no hope, no future. I didn't know what happiness even looked like. And even as Yahweh began to heal all of those things, I found that process of healing could be painful. I went through a season of time where I couldn't use my muscles properly. For a week and a half, I couldn't walk, and for a month I couldn't use my arms or fingers. I've been through panic attacks where I couldn't breathe. I lived in a dark apartment with no sunlight penetrating windows. I've seen people I love go through terrible things. I had the enemy tell me to try to give up and that I didn't matter. I hated my life and I hated myself.

And what I love about this is, Yahweh has redeemed it all! He healed me of depression, restored my physical body to me. He has given me an identity that cannot be assailed by doubt or fear. He has shown me that He loves me and He never meant for me to be unhappy. He has given me a love for Him and a love for myself. And then He has given me tangible blessings: a house to live in with many windows, the ability to open the door on my car after it was wrecked. I have an adorable dog who loves me. I have friends who are willing to help me with anything. I have confidants. I get to be a part of an ecclesia full of people who are willing to give up everything to receive Yahweh's Kingdom and move it forward in the Earth.

He has restored to me what the swarming locusts had eaten (Joel 2:25-27) and given me even more than I ever could have imagined.

Beyond that, He has made me into a person that I like. I am strong and courageous. I am faithful. I have Holy Spirit's power leading me and giving me the ability to do anything. I get to pour into the lives of the next generation. I can write poems and novels and blog posts. And I am still growing.

I am in tears at the marvels that Yahweh has done in my life and I'm even more amazed to know: there is more than even this!

And through all of it, everything, Yahweh was there, being my God, loving me, carrying me through the bad times and establishing me in the good times. He took care of me and is taking care of me. I was never alone, though I thought that was all I'd ever be. He will always be there for me, and He will always be the sovereign, redeeming, Lord and King of all.

This is my God, the One who can do such things, and I am so profoundly grateful...

For EVERYTHING.

Yahweh is Only Moved by His Word

Yahweh is only moved by His Word. Stop and consider that for a moment. Let Holy Spirit breathe life into that revelation, for it is huge and has many implications.

Yahweh is only moved by His Word.

I have been learning, recently, about the immutability of Yahweh's Word, of Yahweh Himself (Hebrews 6; Isaiah 40:7-8). I doubt I am done learning about this, because it is such a deep and important revelation about the nature of Yahweh Himself.

He is unchanging. Nothing in this world can change Him or cause Him to change His mind and His will toward us. That is so important to understand because He is not moved by our circumstances  or even our actions. Nothing moves Him but His Word. This is why He does not stop loving us when we sin or condemn us when we fail Him time and time again. Neither does He approve us when we are successful. That is not how we have His approval. That is not His Word.

His Word is salvation and life. He sent His Son, Yahshua, to fulfill His Word so that, by two immutable things in which it is impossible for Yahweh to lie, we might have strong consolation (Hebrews 6:18). His Word is approval and love, and it is based in Him, not in us.

He isn't changed by our actions, by our feelings, or by our circumstances. Nothing can change His love for us or His plans for us. This is not an excuse to sin, however. In fact, it is a warning against it. Because nothing moves Yahweh but His Word. Therefore, if you want Yahweh to move in your life, you'd better get in His Word. He cannot move in your life until you are in His Word, so while He is not angry at you or condemning you when you sin, sin does slow up His process of redemption because it stops Him from being able to work fully in you and in your life. (For clarity, the definition of sin is setting aside the Word of Yahweh.) Good news, though! The minute you stop sinning and resume operating in the Word of Yahweh, He can start working again!

So if you want Yahweh to move in your life, you'd better be in His Word. If you want Yahweh to move through your life, you'd better be His Word. Be so completely lined up with Him and His Word that you cannot separate yourself from it. Then, you have your identity, your very being, in Him.

And that's the best part! Yahweh's Word is based on, anchored in, Him. This hope is the anchor for our souls, which can often be buffeted by the storms of feelings and circumstances in this life. It is sure and steadfast in Him and He never changes. Therefore, if we anchor ourselves in Him, we shall also be unmoved by the storms of this life.

And as we are anchored in Him, He can flow--move--through us even as He promised (John 7:38).

HalleluYah!

Graduation 2015

I love graduation. Every year it makes me cry as I look at the kids I've nurtured and watched mature over the few years that I've known them achieve a milestone in their lives, a night they will never forget. I also become very pensive, in a good way, as I take stock over the past school year and all of the changes that have happened since August, only a few short months ago.

Every year, I see maturity in new ways as I, myself, become more mature. I see more, now, of what the kids will need to know and the tools and resources they'll need to have as the move on into a world that is at once both terrible and wonderful. They have so much and so little. Some of them have overcome great obstacles to be able to graduate, while others seemed to soar through this part of their lifelong education. Still, even those who achieved all the scholarships and awards had things to overcome that made their rewards all the sweeter.

Yet, whether they grew up with all they needed to flourish or not, they arrived at this point, graduation day, together. And now they have the chance to move into a future and make of it what they will. It is up to them to decide how they will use the resources that are in their proverbial toolbox. While some may think it is unfair that some kids have more tools than others, I know that it is the pleasure of Yahweh my Father to give them all things, and while they may not have what everyone thinks they need, Yahweh doesn't have to give everyone the same thing to give everyone the best thing. Each child, in Yahweh's hand, has been given their best chance to reach Him. And I know He is with them wherever they go.

I like to look back at my own growth and development over this school year as well. I am never the same person in May as I was in August. I'm a little older, a little wiser, and so in some ways I feel like I graduate all over again each May as I see what Yahweh has done through me this year. There are the victories I see in my students: maturity, enhanced writing ability, the potential to continue prospering next year. There are the victories in my personal life: moving into a house, buying a new car. Then, there are the most important things, the victories I've reached with Yahweh. Things that have been established in me by Him, never to be torn asunder.

Growing is hard, sometimes, like when you work out a muscle so that it is stronger than it was when you started. It aches and burns as you stretch it out, but one day, that move you've been doing for weeks, months, or even years that used to make you cringe and ache with pain is easy. And then it's time to try a new move, grow a little more. We have infinity, after all, to reach.

This year I've learned a lot with Yahweh. I've increased in so many ways. And I'm grateful. Nights like tonight make me stand back in awe of the entire spectrum of human experience. I watched children graduate whose mothers died two years ago, others who clawed their way out of poverty to achieve top rankings and high scholarships. I saw children who excelled in public speaking, those who went to state tournaments in sports, and those who can play any musical instrument like a virtuoso. I saw those who barely scraped a passing grade and those who just kept their heads down and tried to get through it, ranking somewhere in the middle of the class. I saw an ending and a new beginning. And all of it was beautiful.

All of it is beautiful. In these moments, I can almost understand a small part of the beauty of Yahweh's plan of redemption. That each of us, no matter how we start or where we end up, have been given our best chance to get back to Him. That we all must go through trials, but we all have joyful triumphs. The whole wide spectrum of the Human Experience makes me dizzy with awe and wonder.

And My Father created all of this! Oh the joy set before Him that He shares so generously with me. HalleluYah!

Learning to Prosper

I have some huge testimonies coming. Actually, I have some huge testimonies. It's been a banner month, and it's only been 8 days! I am increasing in so many ways, and it all seems to be happening so fast. I don't think, though, that it really is. We've spent months preparing for this, Yahweh and I, and we're ready. When His Harvest suddenly appears, we have to be ready. But He knows the timing and He will prepare us for the Harvest when the Harvest needs us.

I'm learning a lot through this prosperity. I haven't really had situations like this before. I mean, I've increased, but it's usually been by being delivered of something. While I was recently delivered of some fears I've had since childhood, that was only the first of the many blessings Yahweh has given me in the past week.

It's different, though, prospering this way. When you increase in blessing, you also increase in responsibility. We are faithful stewards over the things that Yahweh entrusts to us, and when He entrusts more to us, there is more over which to steward. It is easy to get caught up in worrying and striving to manage the new, bigger metron that Yahweh has given us. What I need to remember is simple. Don't do that. These blessings came to me when I most wanted them, but not because I went off searching and striving for them. Yahweh brought them to me almost without my asking. Though my heart yearned for these things, I never really sat down and asked Yahweh for them, probably because I didn't think He would think I needed them right now. What's most amazing is that when Yahweh places a desire in your heart, it's likely because he's already fulfilled it and you just don't know it yet. Therefore, why worry? What is there to strive for when we know it's already done and the blessings are already ours? Now all I need to do is be faithful and obedient over the steps necessary to complete the process, walking in His strength and grace to receive what He has had for me all along.

I suppose maybe that's not so different after all, having prosperity added to you and having a deliverance experience. Either way, it takes faith. Often, it takes patience. What's most important to remember is that Yahshua finished it all, Yahweh perfected what He authored before He even began it. All I have to do is receive it.

I'm looking forward to walking this process out with Yahweh. I'm hoping that this will be a main difference between what I'm experiencing now and what I've experienced in the past. In the past, because of the things that I was carrying and hadn't been delivered of, I was unable to really see or feel Yahweh walking with me, though He was certainly there. Now, I want to share this joy with Him. After all, not only is He the author of my prosperity, but He is also better than even that. Whatever He brings me, whatever He gives me, it will not distract me from Him and His greatness. And that's the second thing I've learned in prospering. Don't forget Yahweh. I don't ever want anything that will take me away from Him because He is my heart's greatest desire.

Remember, if He placed a desire in my heart, it's because He already fulfilled it. Oh the joy of Yahweh and His prosperity. Seek first the Kingdom... really, seek first the King... and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you. HalleluYah!

Faith is the Most Important Thing Ever

I love writing. It is the way I create, using the creative ability that Yahweh placed within me for His glory. It is also the way I process things. I may have the urge to write without even knowing what I'm writing about yet, but by the end of a page, I have figured out something about my life or about what I'm walking through right now that I didn't know I would discover when I began writing. Incidentally, this is how I managed to pass many a college exam.

Today, I feel like writing, and I feel a bit pensive. There are so many things to think and worry about for a teacher this time of the year. Add to all of that the normal things that everyone goes through in their personal lives and I have been known to be exhausted this time of year.

Today, this weekend, I have no obligations. I haven't had that in a long time. I'm excited to spend the day relaxing and recovering from a very long month and preparing for what promises (in true end-of-year fashion) to be a long month ahead. I know I can only do all of this in Yahweh's strength, but that doesn't mean I don't need to just have a little "me-time." I am learning that it is important to take care of myself, to say "no" when people make requests of me. It does not mean I am selfish or inconsiderate. It just means I am prioritizing what Yahweh says is important and saving the energy that I have to spend on those things, those purposes that Yahweh established for such a time as this.

One thing that never deserves time is worrying. Worrying is probably the biggest energy-sucker and distraction I deal with. I worry about disappointing Yahweh, about not being enough. I worry about if I am going to remember all the things I have to do or if I will be able to deal with the life changes that I sense are coming. It's exhausting, worrying. It's also pointless. I know we've all heard those sayings, quotes, and even Bible verses about how silly worry is and how much of a waste of time it is. After all, if the God of the entire universe is on your side and has already fought the battle for you to win, what is there possibly to worry about? But see, worry makes no sense. Fear makes no sense. It has no reason for actually being.

Perhaps it is for this reason that I cannot argue worry away. I can't rationalize why I don't need to worry. I already know that I don't need to worry. I already know all the reasons that worry is pointless and distracting. So I can't present a new argument to my brain that will make me go, "Oh, yeah! Silly me. I won't worry anymore now!"

So how can I stop worrying about things that will probably never happen, or things that may happen, but won't change who Yahweh is? Like everything else, it comes by faith.

Sometimes, it is that daily affirmation that Yes, I believe You, Yahweh! Even though my emotions tell me I'm dying or that the very thing I most desperately want can never come to be. But I believe! I trust! I know! And if I still worry for a time, it doesn't make me any less faithful or any less full of faith. And one day, when my faith has grown stronger and is strong enough to bring Yahweh's Word from Heaven to Earth, I will no longer worry or fear. There won't be room for worry or fear because the place that they once occupied is now taken by Yahweh's Word.

And this is how the war is won. One decision of faith at a time. Not to combat or fight worry or fear by reason or even by directly addressing them, but simply to choose to believe Yahweh. Believe His Word. And believe that I will see His Word manifest in my life, in the here and now. Because fear and Yahweh's Word cannot coexist. And His Word is evident, is substantial, only by faith.

See, I love writing. Sometimes it can even build up that Most Holy Faith that is the only thing that can bring Heaven and Earth together as one.

The Battlefield of the Mind

I think the hardest battle is the one fought in the mind. It is there that most problems originate, most fears are realized, and most insecurities are born. If you stop and look back at all of the things you worried about in life, you'll see that 99% of them didn't come true at all. At least that's true for me.

Even when circumstances are unfavorable, the mind is the place where reactions are born. I like to say that you can't choose your circumstances, but you can choose how you respond to them. This is true, but the mind is the place where those choices are influenced most. Since those choices then affect and alter our circumstances, I would posit that even circumstances outside of us are influenced by what happens in the mind.

I spent 10 years under a mental illness, and though Yahweh healed me of that five years ago (as of February 15!), I still find that some scars remain. For mental illness is frequently blamed upon the sufferer, unlike illnesses found in the body. Nobody goes, "Your leg is broken. Just get over it! If you would get up and walk, you could just be better!" They basically say that all the time to those who suffer from mental illnesses.

Not that I am saying anyone is a victim here. Yahweh is able to heal all, and the idea that a sufferer of mental illness should be pitied as a poor, unfortunate victim who will just have to deal with that for the rest of their lives makes me want to spit. How dare the enemy try to tell someone that they can't be healed! He is only capable of lies and please, please don't believe him!

Because while someone with a mental illness is not to blame, neither are they powerless. But then, none of us are powerless when we have the power of Yahweh God residing within us. He healed me of depression, obesity, and many other things over the past five years. And now, He is healing me again... of guilt.

The point of this blog post is this: the battlefield of the mind is a real thing! It is a true battle, and it is not something people can just "get over" and "grow up and put their big girl panties on." Instead, it is a battle to the death. The death of a person's identity, freedom, purpose, and even--sometimes--of the person him or herself. But the battle is winnable. In fact, Yahshua said that the battle is already won.

So the next time you see someone battling something in their mind, whether it be a true mental illness, or stupid thoughts or fears that try to limit them and keep them from all Yahweh has for them, realize that it is a real battle. Cut them some slack! And cut yourself some slack when you battle, too, because it's something we all go through. The battle is just as real and powerful as a person's body battling cancer, a missionary battling ignorance, a charity battling poverty. Who knows how many generations in the future are being affected by this battle going on right now?

But again, we fight with hope, because our victory is already assured so long as we don't give up.

Every victory against the enemy--whether it be over fears in the mind, poverty, ignorance, bigotry, or a myriad of other evils--is a win for the Kingdom. Every time Yahweh's truth prevails against a lie of the enemy, Yahweh has established another foothold in this natural realm, and if that is in my mind, HalleluYah!

And this is how the war is won: one battle at a time. But even as we fight, we rest, for we remember that Yahshua won the battle for us, and all we have to do is receive it.

An Oath of Confirmation is an End to All Dispute

Hebrews 6:12-19

That Yahweh, when He could find no one greater to swear by, swore by Himself. That He is the oath and Yahshua's obedience is the confirmation and there is no more dispute. And all we have to do is come into agreement (faith) with this immutable truth, for it is impossible for Yahweh to lie. And it is already done, though we await the full manifestation with patience.

HalleluYah!

Matthew 25

So I've been reading the parable of the talents lately. Yahweh's drawn my attention there, and it's been very interesting because I've had to read it multiple times, pressing in, to get anything out of it. This morning, I realized something.

But first, the background. The parable of the talents is found in Matthew 25:14-30. In these verses, Yahweh is likened to a man who had three servants and entrusted to them his goods before going on a trip. The first servant is given 5 talents, the second servant 2 talents, and the third servant 1 talent. "Each according to his ability."

You know the story, the first two servants go an earn the number of talents they were given over again so that the first servant returned to his master 10 talents and the second servant 4. But the third servant, out of fear, hid his talent in a hole in the ground, and though is master received his talent back, he was not pleased with this servant.

The first two servants were both commended, however, with the same phrase (vs. 21 and 23): Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over few things, now I will make you ruler over many. Enter into the joy of your Lord.

Because these servants were not afraid, like the third was, they put their talents to use and gave their master back more than he had when he left. This is us, the Kingdom sons of Yahweh who have been entrusted with the stewardship of the earth until such time as Yahshua Himself returns to govern it.

And here's what's interesting to me: it didn't matter what the capacity of the servant had at the start...how many talents he received. Both the servant with 5 talents and  the servant with 2 were commended in the same way: Well done! Because it wasn't the amount that mattered, but the faithfulness. And doesn't that make sense? Yahweh has limitless capacity and as long as we keep trusting Him and keep changing, conforming more and more to His nature, our capacity will always be increasing. We just have to be faithful and fearless. And He will say, "Well done!"

School Updates

Teaching is fun, teaching is rewarding, teaching is difficult, teaching is not boring.

What's important to remember is focussing on the kids. This is done in various ways. For me, I tend to focus on them as individuals, on their personalities, lives, and what they need to be successful.

The sure keep things interesting. For example, today I was asked what I think was my favorite question in teaching thus far. "Were there Wednesdays in 1945?"

Yes, yes there were.

However, I've gotta commend the kid for being aware of the possibilities that Wednesday didn't always exist. It actually comes from a German day's name and did not exist before the advent of English. So, you know, he was on to something there. I didn't explain that to him, though. I just enjoyed the question.

I'm seeing more and more how kids need to learn some things that are beyond the textbooks. Basic social skills like how to de-escalate an argument, how to sit still, how to wait patiently. Many times, kids are taught these kinds of things at home, but sometimes they are not. When you combine many students with various backgrounds into a classroom, you get an interesting group dynamic that can cause children to act very differently than they normally would.

These beautiful children with so much potential need to learn how to use this potential to their fullest. This can only happen if they have some of these foundational life skills, in addition to the curriculum we teach in school of reading, writing, and math.

So again, I say, it's important to focus on the children, focus on the future. The next generation is huge and strong, and they're going to inherit a world that is vastly different than the one into which they were born.

I'm glad and honored to be a teacher, to be given stewardship over the future. And I know that only with the Holy Spirit can I even hope to help them realize and receive all that Yahweh has for them. HalleluYah!

When Your Students Find Out About Your Blog...

They do silly things to get on the blog! Naturally...

So I have this one girl in my class this year who was in my class last year, also. She is a great kid, and she likes to be silly. Well, last year we experienced "The Nutella Incident of 2014" (not to be confused with the Frosting War of 2014). In this incident, I was innocently teaching at the white board when all of the sudden, I turn around just in time to see a jar of Nutella fly across the room.

Then, no more Nutella was allowed in my room.

Fast forward to this year. The girl of whom I'm speaking was a part of "The Nutella Incident of 2014" and she decided that she hadn't been on my blog in a while. She walks into my room, asks if I still have this blog, and proceeds to pull out a jar of Hershey's Spread (which is NOT Nutella, and so allowed, according to her). She then tosses it in the air and catches it while running around the room and saying, "Whoooo!"

Lest you think we do no learning whatsoever, I must say this was before the bell rang.

Eventually she put the jar away and class went on. And now I'm posting about it here.

Other exciting incidents at school this week include the Happening that some of my 6th graders did. For those who don't know, a Happening is a theatrical event that encourages audience participation, often by not informing the audience that something was staged and attempting to get them to react to the event as if it were real.

So, my students wrote a script for their Happening whereby they were give a presentation in front of the middle school at lunch about "anti-bullying." They'd previously painted a poster that said "No Bullying" and written a script of this presentation. The exciting part was at the end, however, when the script called for them to throw paint on each other! Boy did the kids in the lunchroom laugh! We, the adults, pretended to be mad and I think about 1/2 the kids think it was real.

All-in-all, it went pretty well. The clean up took a little longer than I expected, but other than that, it was rather fun.

All that to say, children are interesting creatures.

And now I must go because my dog is acting like a cat and sitting in my face while I'm trying to type this...just another interesting creature.

The Dromedaries of Midian and Ephah

The title of this blog post comes from Isaiah 60:6, which is discussing the immense prosperity of Israel, saying that even foreign nations shall bless Israel with goods to the praise and glory of Yahweh.

I have been reading Isaiah 60 a lot recently, as Yahweh has told me that it pertains greatly to my life in this new year of 2015. Mostly, I resonate with the verses about light and shining for Yahweh and His glory being sung in the Earth. I kind of skimmed over verse 6 at first, except for the last part where it talks about Yahweh's glory. The only reason it really caught my eye was because of the word "dromedary." I mean, I'm a linguist. That was bound to be noticed!

FYI, a dromedary is a type of camel. (I looked it up.)

Anyway, I realized through something that happened recently--namely a flat tire--that the dromedaries of Midian and Ephah are important. For how can we glorify Yahweh if we refuse to receive the prosperity He is offering us?

So yesterday, I was coming out of my apartment to go to ecclesia. I'd been battling emotions lately, so ecclesia was exactly where I wanted to be and I couldn't wait to go! When I saw that my back tire was flat, I was upset mostly because I wouldn't be able to get to ecclesia that night. Also, I wasn't looking forward to paying for a new tire, but I knew that Yahweh provides financially from previous experience.

In examining the tire, I found a screw firmly lodged therein, in a place screws definitely do not belong. So it's freezing and the tire is flat and I try to figure out what to do. My car is my only means of transportation and I cannot be without it. I call my parents and get out the insurance card and try to figure out if I need to call a tow truck because I'm pretty sure I don't have the equipment (and certain I don't have the knowledge) to change my tire. My dad reminds me that I have a Fix A Flat container in my backseat, so I get that out of the car and try to figure that out.

While I'm sitting on the ground next to the flat tire trying to read directions on the Fix A Flat, a neighbor I've never met before asks if I need help. (Yes! Yes, I did!) He jacks the car up and tries to remove the tire while I post on Instagram the fact that the tire is flat and I won't be able to make it to ecclesia.

So it turns out that tires can rust to the car. Even though my neighbor got the car jacked up and all the bolts (I think that's what they're called) out of the tire, it won't come off the car. Still, he tried and I blessed him for it. Meanwhile, two lovely friends who live somewhat nearby offer me a ride to ecclesia because of the post from Instagram. Dromedaries.

So I get to ecclesia and reboot my faith. (HalleluYah!) While I'm there, another good friend offers to come out and take a look at the tire. (Again, yes!) Someone had told me that beating on the tire with a rubber mallet might help the rusty thing come off, and I figured that maybe he'd have some luck, so I agreed to let him come out and try to get the tire off again.

He comes out and does his best, but the tire still isn't coming off. While we are out there, though, another neighbor asks if the tire is flat and says she has an air pressure pump that we can use to air it up. It works great, and my friend follows me to Walmart so we can get the tire patched up. AND the screw was in the perfect place to get it patched, so no new tire fee. Dromedaries. Actually, it ended up being a really fun day with my friend whom I don't get to see that often.

Through all of this, I remembered: I am not alone. Yahweh always provides and He will always send the dromedaries of Midian and Ephah to us when we have need. Our purposes come with their own equipping and no matter how many things don't work, Yahweh will keep sending things until they do. Everything worked together for His glory and my good.

So consider the dromedaries of Midian and Ephah. If Yahweh purposes to bless you, receive the blessing. Every purpose will need the proper equipment for it to be fulfilled, and Yahweh will ensure that it is available to you. Sometimes the purpose is transportation or fellowship. Sometimes it is simply to glorify Yahweh by being prosperous. Whatever it is, I am grateful for all of Yahweh's provision and the people whom He used to provide it. I bless their seed, whether they understand the principle of seedtime and harvest or not. HalleluYah!