2016: The Year of Fulfilled Promise

I always like to take stock of the year at milestones such as these and look back at all that Yahweh has done.

I know if you look at the media, it would be easy to surmise that 2016 has been a rotten year for the majority of Americans and the world in general. I know better than to listen to the media, and even though some negative things have happened in the world, Yahweh is sovereign and any change such as we've seen can be used by Him to bring Heaven more fully in unity with Earth. Indeed, for some the removal of one layer of illusion in society will allow them to step more fully into the Truth of Yahweh as they begin to look deeper past the layer they are currently seeing. That is hopeful.

In my personal life, 2016 has been the best of my 28 years, and it only gets better from here.  Even as I think to describe it, know that I am a Wordsmith, yet even I cannot adequately express what Yahweh has done for me here.

Let me start by saying that 2016 did not start out as the best year of my life. Indeed, for the first four months I wondered if I could make it through 2016 at all. The enemy saw my breakthrough coming, and he tried to stop me before it got here, lest I remember my Promise and my power and utterly defeat him.

Somewhere in the back of my soul for the whole of my life until now, I had a fear that I did not deserve to be alive. A generational curse told me that I needed to earn my space in this world, and that if I were not good enough everyone--Yahweh included--would hate me and wish that I didn't exist.

I started 2016 alone and in fear, thinking that I did not deserve to live and that anything that went wrong in my life was somehow my fault. I spent a few evenings literally lying on the floor crying or in panic attacks because the enemy was sending me false visions involving my blood and knives and other details I will not go into. Fortunately, Yahweh has always been sovereign and I knew that the visions weren't true, though even seeing them was scary. Yet, Yahweh had me, and He surrounded me with a people who would stand with me in faith and remind me of truth until I could remember it myself.

This happened in April, around the time of First Fruits, when we celebrate Yahshua--Yahweh's first and best--by coming into agreement with Him as we give our first and best. It was then that Yahweh reminded me of my Promise, the Covenant that we made together before time to create me.

I have never since doubted that I deserve to be alive.

As we moved through the year, I published a book related to the Promise, "Promises: The Poetry of the Zadokim." I also received a deeper revelation of the Zadokim anointing, that we as priests and kings of Yahweh most high could go directly to Him and minister to Him and offer Him the fat and the blood. We do so in worship and we do so by ruling and reigning and taking our place in this Earth for His glory.

I had the last panic attack in June, when Yahweh told me that I have the power to stand up to the enemy... all the power in the universe, in fact. As fear tried to grip me, once more and my breathing became shallow, I stopped and told Satan and fear that they have no power over me because I have all the power in the universe. It was gone in five minutes, and I was praising Yahweh, dancing and weeping in joy. The next night, it happened again, just to cement the reality of Yahweh's Word. Again, I told fear that I have power and it does not and it left me, never to return. Yahweh was proud of me, and I wrote poetry and a letter to Him in praise.

In the natural, I received a job that is much better for me and where I can still make a difference and help kids. I have supportive co-workers and administrators and wonderful students. I am no longer exhausted by the school year.

One of the best things that has happened to me this year is that I found my Promised Land, or the place that Yahweh has given me to operate and reign in. I am a poet and a parablist. I am a writer and I take all that Yahweh shows me and put it in poetry and parables so that He can be seen and glorified in greater measure. I have written 4 books since publishing my first one and cannot wait to see the rest be published. I have started a business to write and sell these books and I have two book signings coming up in January.

Even more wonderful things have happened. I have learned to see beyond the Veil, to see from Yahweh's perspective and He has shared parts of Himself with me that are so glorious and so beautiful that I must weep at the splendor.

I do not dread 2017. I have dreaded every New Year that I can remember. Even as a child, I knew pain and I was smart enough to know that both good and bad would come in the year ahead. I had a wonderful imagination, but as it was not aware of Yahweh as it is now, it would take me down the path of thinking that horrible things could happen in the next year that I could neither predict nor alter.

I never thought about the wonderful things that could happen, and as I grew older and pain was all I knew, I stopped looking forward to anything. Dread started each day with me, and I did not know it could be any different.

Yet now, I know the sovereignty of Yahweh in greater measure, and the relationship I have with Him can only deepen in the coming year. He has Promises for me that are beyond my wildest dreams and I am excited to see them manifest in this world.

I see the world so differently now. I see with more of Yahweh's view. His Reality is sovereign in me and in my perspective. I did not know that life could ever be this good. Yet, now I know that life can be even better. It only ever gets better, for Yahweh can only ever increase.

But none of this would be possible without Yahweh. If I had listened to the visions of the enemy and hurt myself or taken myself out of the Promise as they called me to do, I would never have experienced this joy and this rapture. Life is good and worth it. Yahweh is Life.

If you watched me walk through the things I suffered at the time, you know I would not have then called them "light afflictions," yet compared to the joy that I walk in now, compared to Yahweh, they are just that. He promised: "Wherever you go I will find you/ wherever you are, there I'll be." He has kept His Promise in greater ways than I could have ever imagined, fathomed, or even dreamed.

HalleluYah!

The Promise of Christmas

I am continually amazed at the way in which Yahweh has hidden Himself throughout His creation for all of us to find. Some see Him in nature, some in other people's gifts of kindness or acts of love. I find Him in Words.

Christ-anointed one/anointing. He is the Spirit of Yahweh who operated through Yahshua when He was on the Earth and who currently operates through us if we give Him access to our hearts.

Mass-from the Latin mittere, meaning "to send."

Christmas- The sending of Christ! The coming to this realm, the Earth, of the Spirit of the Creator.

But oh, it's so much more than that, for this mittere is also the root word of Promise.

Why did Yahweh send His Son to the Earth? I'll be controversial and say that it was not simply so that He could die and save mankind from their sins. It is so much bigger than that! He sent Yahshua to Earth to unlock our Promised Land once again. That mankind could again be redeemed to the Garden of Eden--our own unique and special wheelhouses where we can express and create with Yahweh as we originally promised to do when we Covenanted with Him in the Beginning.

Yahshua came to Earth to redeem our Promise.

That is what we celebrate today on Christmas Eve and tomorrow on Christmas Day. It is more than a baby born in a manger, more than salvation from the sins that would ensnare us, it is the total redemption of the Promise that is our very existence and all that we do to express it.

This Promise, made before time in the Heavens, had to be affirmed on the Earth once the two were separated by the Fall. Thus that the Promise could be fulfilled in its entirety in all realms. Christmas is that affirmation, when Yahshua came to the Earth as the Word made Flesh, the Promise made Man.

Christmas is a Promise, and for those who will affirm the Promise in their own hearts and in their own lives, it is something that we can live in always, not just on December 25.

Glory to God in the Highest!

Looking for Adam (Thoughts on Marriage From a Single Person)

I have been thinking about families recently; it is Christmas, after all. More specifically, I was thinking about what an ideal family would look like and about the things that I have been longing for recently.

I am 28 years old, and though I very much see myself as a wife and a mother one day, I have never been on a date, never had a crush, never held hands with a boy. I'm still waiting on my first kiss! This is strange in today's world unless you're a very strict fundamentalist Christian. Yes, our ecclesia had a belief for a while that dating was inappropriate, but as the culture of our youth changed, so did that belief. Yet, I have never been tempted to date.

My parents imposed no rules on my in this regard. I'm sure they would have if I had shown any interest in dating, but it really never came up. It's not that I am unaware of the physical attributes of certain males. Yet, even when I was young, the idea of crushes based solely on physical attraction made no sense to me. I was 10 when the movie "Titanic" came out, and everybody my age and up was suddenly in love with Leonardo DiCaprio, to the point where it was strange not to be. I remember my mom telling me how she'd met one lady in a store who had a child around my age and they were discussing the movie. This lady was incredulous that I was not in love with Leonardo DiCaprio.

He was a very handsome actor, yet the idea of celebrity crushes always seemed odd to me. While acknowledging the fact that these men are attractive, even at age 10 I realized that I didn't know them. How would I know if they were good people or not? All I knew of them is what they showed to the media, and that's not the measure of a man.

As I got older, I thought that perhaps I'd meet someone with similar interests or life-goals. We'd share similar values. Of course, he'd be a Christian and we'd fall in love and get married someday. Never mind that at the time I had no idea who I was and there was no way I'd be ready for that. I didn't know how that would happen, either, but I never felt the compulsion to go out and find a man, even though having a husband and children is one of the deepest desires of my heart.

When I came into the Kingdom to a level where I had started to know myself, Yahweh revealed to me that a husband and wife are joined as one in a very specific order. Just as Yahweh is a Trinity, we are trinities, made up of spirit, soul, and body. He said that a husband and a wife had to be joined first by the spirit, then in the soul, and finally...on the wedding night... physically. I rejoiced in this revelation, for a relationship not based in spirit is somewhat superficial, and that is not the kind of relationship I wanted with my husband. Still, I felt no compunction to seek out a person to whom I could be so joined. Indeed, it was and is my conviction that the man should be the leader even in this and that meanwhile I can be intercession.

But as I said, I was thinking a lot about families recently and what I would ideally want in a husband. I am very prophetic, and there are things that I see that it's difficult to share with everybody, and I realized tonight that what I wanted most in a husband is someone with whom I can share those things. Then, Yahweh showed me that I am looking for my Adam.

You see, each of us was created with a specific Promised Land, a specific Garden of Eden for our lives. It is not necessarily a physical place, though some people find their calling very much in a specific plot of land. This Garden of Eden is the metron--the dominion--which Yahweh gave us from the Beginning. It is in this land that we are to rule and reign and where we have all authority as we submit to Yahweh God. Indeed, we can create in this Promised Land, even as Adam created with Yahweh naming all of the animals.

I have found my Garden of Eden, though I haven't explored it all yet. It is vast! It will take an eternity to explore. What I realized tonight is that I can settle for no less than the Adam to this Garden of Eden, the man who is willing to join the Covenant he made with Yahweh before time to the Covenant I made with Yahweh before time so that our Gardens become One. Then, we can rule and reign together, creating and expanding our Garden in infinite increase.

Oh, how I look forward to this, to being able to share the glories that I have seen with someone who will understand and appreciate it all, with someone who will help me govern and create with me. I am so glad that I have never thought to settle for anything less, and though I have not always been patient, sometimes waiting is key. For Yahweh told me recently that time can be an ingredient in creation.

I know that it will all be worth it in the end.

PS-- This is in no way meant to be condemnation or judgment of those who do choose to date. Yahweh can join people and Gardens in various ways. Who would I be to judge? This is just how He's done it for me.

The Power of the Promise

Once, in the center of infinite-eternity, in the very foundation of your life and all that you are, you and Yahweh came together in a Covenant and created a Promise.

It is this Promise that is immutable and governs your existence. It is to this Promise you must be faithful, choosing to follow Yahweh in all things so that you can bring this Promise to full manifestation to the point that it is something that not only you can see by faith, but all of the world can see and know that the hand of Yahweh has done this and give Him glory and honor in the Earth.

This Promise was a joint venture between you and Yahweh. Yahweh, the omnipotent God of Everything poured His entire Being into this venture. This Promise is only breakable by you, and if you are faithful, this Promise is omnipotent.

Everything stemming from your Promise is then omnipotent.

This gives me great hope and pleasure because it means that, as long as I am faithful, anything bad or negative that I experience cannot damage my Promise. It also gives me direction and focus. Do I need to spend time trying to avoid all the negative things that living in a fallen world can throw at me or do I need to focus on the Promise and the fact that nothing can hinder, stop, or come against it? "No weapon formed against me may prosper."

Nothing that tries to stop me in my Promise from being fulfilled has the possibility of hurting me! As I move deeper and deeper into my Promise, I begin to see more and more clearly and I can be less and less worried about these weapons that don't matter.

If I look back at my past, filled with depression, anxiety, loneliness, panic attack-inducing fear, and lack of identity and purpose, I can honestly say that none of that hurt my Promise. It was not fun. I never want to do it again. Yet I am still here and still enjoying the fullness of Yahweh and His Promise to me. Nothing out of my life has been stolen, and everything has been and is being redeemed. Yahweh is faithful! I am faithful!

Many times people look back at their past and that induces fear for the future. I remember when I was mired in depression and I only saw sadness ahead because that was basically all I could remember feeling. We tend to pattern our futures off of our pasts, reasoning in our finite minds that what has been will always be and unless we take great and sometimes futile efforts to change, our futures will be as miserable as our pasts were.

But Yahweh does not say that. In fact, when the temple was rebuilt in Jerusalem after the 70 years of captivity in Babylon, those who saw it wept at its lack of splendor and glory compared to the temple of Solomon. But Yahweh said that the glory of the latter temple should eclipse the glory of the former temple, and it was so when in that temple, Yahshua entered and taught about His Father. It was the veil in that temple that was torn in two from top to bottom, and it was that temple that was standing when it ceased to be the temple of Yahweh and that honor was given to us when Holy Spirit came upon man. That is glory, indeed!

We shall be so much more glorious. The glory of our futures shall completely eclipse the glory of the past and even the present, no matter how awful or wonderful the past was. In Yahweh, we can only ever increase. In Yahweh, nothing can ever stop that. Nothing can come against and stop your Promise from growing and expressing so long as you have the faith to see.

And even then, the Promise is finished and immutable. It is more firm and sure than the stars in the sky or the very foundation of the Earth. It is as Yahweh is, for it all exists in Him.

He who has eyes to see let him see, and he who has ears to hear let him hear! HalleluYah! Amen.

PERFECTION

Perfection is not Yahweh's idea, at lest not as we currently understand the word. Perfection as we currently understand it means the totality of something, all that it will ever be as *best.* It is the superlative, the ceiling, the limit.

Wait? Limit? Yahweh does not limit anyone. Yahweh has no limits. He is infinite and ever expanding!

Well that leaves us with another option... this limit is always growing and is constantly becoming further and further beyond our reach. It is unattainable and we shall always and ever be less than. We shall never be perfect and we shall always be striving for something we can never have.

That doesn't sound like Yahweh either. Why would the same God who gave you everything in His Son now deny you this? He is not cruel, setting up standards that you can never reach. "Be holy as I am holy." If He asked you to do this, He would then empower you so to do.

So our options--as perfection is currently understood--is that it is either a limiting ceiling of our development and abilities or that it is an unattainable end goal for which we must constantly strive but never reach.

Clearly this was never Yahweh's idea, therefore perfection doesn't exist. Nothing that Yahweh didn't make truly exists.

So if perfection doesn't exist, what does it mean to "Be holy as [He is] holy" and attain that "perfect love" that casts out fear?

Yahweh has shown me recently that there is more, but there is no such thing as less. In other words, as soon as we accept Him and His Holy Spirit, we are FINISHED. He is, after all the "Author and Perfecter." He completed us and finished us before He even authored us, so that from our very inception we were perfect.

Perfection means being united with Yahweh. We are finished, done, and complete as soon as we accept His salvation and unity with Holy Spirit (which is our inception, our birth). Yet, as Yahweh is ever increasing and expanding, we also are growing and expanding. There are places (sometimes in our minds and bodies) into which Yahweh has not yet grown and expanded. We, in unity with Him, must also grow and expand there. We, in unity with Yahweh, are also ever going to be growing and increasing. There will be no limit or ceiling to who we are or what we can create with Yahweh.

Yet neither are we less-than because we are not there yet. Just as we would not consider an infant less human because he isn't an old man, neither can we consider ourselves less than perfect because we are not yet in all of the places that we will one day be.

Perfection is unity with Yahweh. We have been made perfect in love, and once we accept this, we do not need to ever fear being less.

All That's Dead Inside Can Be Reborn

Three years ago, when I was walking out something crushing, I bought a song on iTunes by Tenth Avenue North called "Worn."

The chorus goes:

"Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn

'Cuz I'm worn."

I used to listen to this song on repeat because I was under so much condemnation, torment, and torture from the enemy. I kept pushing through and fighting because I knew that there wasn't really any option. I was blessed by Yahweh to have nothing to go back to if I left Him. I knew that leaving Him would kill me, and I would rather die in faith than in fear.

Over the past three years, I have had the normal ups and downs that come from walking in the Kingdom, but the worst time was during the last school year when the enemy tried again to kill me. I was honestly not sure I would make it. Again, this chorus was the cry of my heart. "Let me know that all that's dead inside can be reborn." Even though I didn't yet know it, I was fighting for the manifestation of Yahweh's Promise in me, the rebirth of all that He placed in me before time and which was killed at the fall.

This morning, the song kept playing in my head, and so I listened to it on my computer. As I listened, I began to sob because I know that all that's dead inside has been reborn. I feel it! It is there. I am alive again and I am so, so grateful and blessed by this.

So I wanted to encourage you, to be the one who "lets [you] see redemption win." The struggle does end. Yahweh can mend a heart that's frail and torn. A song does rise from the ashes of a broken life, and all that is dead inside can be reborn.

And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. ~Galatians 6:9

Fearless

Sometimes I like to touch the past, to remember how things used to be. It helps me appreciate how far I come; it causes me to be grateful. Sometimes, I start to cry with the wonder and amazement of it all.

Tonight, I was driving around the university I attended from ages 16-20 and again as a graduate student. The place has changed a lot, honestly. There are countless buildings that were not there before, a couple of new parking lots--probably not enough for all the new buildings; parking was always a problem on campus--and roads that used to be open that were closed before.

As part of my jaunt around the university, I also drove in a certain area of the town. I noticed another new Walmart and countless new gas stations and restaurants and I realized how much my homeland has changed over the past decade or so. Yet, all of this pales in comparison to how much I have changed.

To be clear, I didn't change me. I didn't do anything except take Yahweh at His Word, believing the Promise that He made me before time ever began. Now that I've received that Promise and continue to grow in ever greater and deepening revelation of the Promise, I live a life I never imagined was possible.

I vaguely remember the days when I started to live in dread. I was in pre-school or kindergarten. I remember thinking that my stomach hurt, all the while knowing that it wasn't really a stomachache. When I was a child, I caught every communicable disease I was exposed to, so I was well aware of what the stomach flu was and how it worked. This ache, this heaviness in my stomach, was different than what I experienced when I was about to throw up. Yet, it was uncomfortable and painful and there. I remember noticing it when it came, but I don't remember when it became a given. I don't remember when it became commonplace to dread the day in front of you.

Since that day when the stomachache that was not a stomachache came until these past few weeks and months, I woke up in dread every morning that I had a responsibility. This burden was somewhat lightened during school breaks, and on those special exciting days like my birthday and Christmas, it was gone, but otherwise, it was my constant companion.

Most people dread the things they cannot control, and I suppose there was an element of that to the situation. Mostly, though, I dreaded the things that I could control. I dreaded making a mistake, hurting someone's feelings, or making someone mad. I dreaded being wrong or dropping the ball or breaking something. Some mornings the dread would be so great that I would have panic attacks at the thought that I had to face the responsibilities that were ahead of me. I would try to encourage myself on those days, and I even made it through those responsibilities, performing them well. Yet, the burden and dread of failure was always upon me.

Until this summer. This summer, when I had time to process the Promise that Yahweh showed me in April and integrate the revelation of the New Covenant, which is the Promise. This Covenant was made before time between Yahweh and myself, and it cannot be broken by simple mistakes or occasional bad choices. It is to this Covenant, and not the secular or religious concepts of right and wrong that I am bound, and because it is in the Power of Yahweh that this Covenant operates, it is not something I can get wrong.

The dread was gone for months, and then school started. The normal fear and anxiety that would accompany the start of the school year was not present, though there was a bit of nervousness as I knew the Truth of the freedom from anxiety and dread would really be tested for the first time as I took on the responsibilities of my job once again.

The first week is always the week of professional development, and I was too overwhelmed to be nervous. My new position is so much bigger than my previous one, and there was a giant party with tens of thousands of dollars worth of door prizes. This was the same day I received the first copy of my first book: Promises, the Poetry of the Zadokim. 

The second week I met my kids for the first time, and I was somewhat nervous, but also excited. I had never been excited before. As the week rolled on, I realized that I was not afraid as I had always been before. I experienced a little bit of stress as I had to juggle deadlines and assignments that I had not dealt with since May, but that was it.

Then came Sunday night. Last year, I was heavily burdened by dread every Sunday as I anticipated the week ahead. It would come on as the evening came and I realized that the weekend was almost over. This Sunday, the nerves started, but there wasn't really any fear, and under the familiar nervous residue, I felt this certainty that fear was never part of my Promise and that I could be fearless. I also knew that I didn't have to wait out a long battle for that to happen.

This week, I have often started crying in wonder. I expected to be exhausted. I expected to be drained. I expected to be terrified. Or not really, because I believe Yahweh. Yet, that would have been my expectation if I were going based on what I have experienced before. But I'm not.

Because this week I have woken up every morning without dread. I've had an entire week of school that was good. This week, I have been free and I marvel and I wonder because even though I'm living in it, it is not something I had ever fathomed, ever hoped to live in.

I didn't know it was possible to live without dread. But my God... He does impossible things.

New Job

They say it's unwise to post about your job on social media, so this is not about my new job, though I am very excited and happy to have started this week at a new junior high school. However, at any such turning point in my life, I cannot help but reflect on where I am now and where I used to be--where I could still be without Yahweh.

I am starting my sixth year teaching this year and my second teaching position. Overall, this is my fourth occupation, and I am just amazed at the place where Yahweh has brought me.

Five years ago when I started teaching, I was not the same person that I am now. I was so afraid and unsure of myself. I didn't know what to do or how to make friends and I always wanted friends, but not for the reason that I enjoy relationships with people now. Back then, I needed people to validate and approve of me because I could not validate and approve of myself. Just before I started teaching, I began to realize that everybody didn't hate me, but I was not aware that people might really like me for me or be able to help me acclimate to a new setting. I was sure that they would hate me automatically if I messed up or made just one mistake. I thought I would get in major trouble if I didn't do everything just so.

Ten years ago when I got my first job working retail at a clothing store, I was almost 400 pounds and severely depressed. I did not know how to interact with people hardly at all, and I was not sure there would ever be happiness or joy in my life. I didn't know how to do anything and I was too afraid to admit when I needed help with something.

In both of these situations, I was so weighted down and stressed out. I felt so burdened every day, and each morning I woke up already afraid of what the day would bring and what mistakes I might make in it. I literally made myself sick, and any task that was asked of me caused me fear unless it was something I knew I could do well. This didn't happen very often, as the things I did best were intellectual and academic. I was not adept at socializing--how could I be if I thought everyone would hate me-- and all of the positions I took required people skills, something I have since learned in what they call "on the job training."

Even now, people confuse me sometimes. Yahweh has revealed things to me recently that help me to understand people a little better, but it is still only something I can do with Him. Yet, I am no longer moved to fear when people respond to me in ways I do not expect or understand.

I cannot describe the difference, the steadiness, that I experienced this week in comparison to the first days in my previous positions. I was not nervous or afraid. I was not worried about making friends. I was not overly stressed by what was asked of me. Each time I was tempted to fear, I remembered that I can do anything with Yahweh and that He has given me all power in my metron.

I am not naive to the difficulties that come with teaching teenagers, nor am I saying that I have not been completely overwhelmed by the sheer amount of work, new information, and expansion of it all. (The school at which I teach now is bigger than the entire district I worked for previously.) Yet, not once have I been tempted to stress out, doubt myself, or fear.

I know that this would not have even been possible two months ago. Indeed, in May I was stressed to the point of tears trying to make sure I ended the school year without making any mistakes and getting all of the students to turn in their assignments before grades were due.

But Yahweh. He changed that. He fixed the part of me that thought I wasn't worthy of love or respect if I did something wrong. He taught me that I don't have to believe the lies of the enemy that I am subject to circumstances or things beyond my control. He gave me the power to stand up and believe in myself. He did all of this in time for me to accept my new position and take my place.

I am not even sure how He did it. I mean, I can look back and see the process, and yet... My God is the most amazing God... There is nothing too big for Him. He can do all things, and I can do all things through Christ.

Promises

With one week to go before the release of my book, I thought I would share some of the revelation that led to me writing the book. I have already shared my revelation about Zadokim in the post "What is a Zadokim (Part 2)", which is the revelation upon which is centered my business and the books in general. However, the first book has a more specific revolution about Promises.

When we were created in the spirit realm, Yahweh spoke us into being. Whatever Yahweh speaks is a Promise. It is most assuredly True. For all who are willing, Yahweh keeps His Promises.

Each of us has a unique Promise, a unique expression and facet of Christ that will ultimately bring Him glory in the Earth by revealing a part of Him that would otherwise be unknown. We matter. Without us, certain aspects of Yahweh's character would not be known to the world at large. Without us, certain people who gravitate toward those aspects would not be reached. It is like when I am teaching something. If I explain a concept one way in my classroom, a certain percentage of my students understand what I am saying. If I explain the same concept using different words or methodologies, it will reach other students who did not understand it the first time.

So it is with the Body of Christ. Each of us is a unique individual--a way of explaining Christ to the world just by being who we are--and thus we are important. We matter. Our Promise matters.

Our Promise--who we are and what we were sent here for--is unique to each of us. Only I can be the Promise that Yahweh made me, and I can only do that if I am willing to submit to the Lordship of Christ, to Yahweh and those He has placed me under in authority. The word "promise" and the word "submit" are etymologically linked via the Latin word "mittere," which means "to send." Promise means "sent for" and submit means "sent under." Yahweh sent each of us to the places where we are for specific reasons to His glory and He placed us under certain authorities in order to help His glory in us manifest in totality.

Another linked word is "commit." This word means "sent together." We were sent with specific individuals whose Promises will link with ours to help them manifest in fullness. In my life recently, the publishing of my book is the perfect example of this. Another family in our ecclesia stepped out in faith and started a business that involved publishing. If they had not accepted their Promise, I would not be able to fulfill mine.

Each of our Promises, being unique, require different handling. There is no uniformity and no legalistic laws that everyone has to obey. The only law that matters is the Law of Love, the Law of Yahweh, which will enable our Promises to manifest in totality. That is not to say that there are not some common elements that we must all submit to. Yahweh's Law will always benefit family, for example. Yahweh's Law will always involve seed, time, and harvest. To take it down to the bare bones practicality, murder is against the Law for everyone because each of us should value the Promise of Yahweh in another person (whether or not that person is manifesting their Promise visibly at the moment).

Still, each of us will have a different Law to follow, one that is unique and tailor-made for us. How do we know what that Law is? Holy Spirit reveals it to us. That is why for one person, reading stories like "Harry Potter" might be contrary to their Promise and therefore "against the law," but for other people, it may be neutral or even beneficial to their Promise to read such stories. Yahweh speaks to me through stories and language more than anything, however in other expressions of Him--other Promises--(read, other people), He might use numbers or experiences or music.

We must each walk out our own salvation with fear and trembling, and we must each do that by valuing the Promise that Yahweh has placed in us above soulish desires, pleasures of this world, or what the other person is saying or doing. Then, we must make choices that further the Promise that Yahweh has made to us. This is impossible unless we submit to Holy Spirit and His Lordship. 

My first book is about discovering the fact that we are Promises at all and about realizing the uniqueness and importance of each individual Promise--each individual person--in the Earth. I hope that you will pick up the book and allow Holy Spirit to use what He has written through me to help you discover the Promise that He made to you before time ever began. That is the reason I am publishing this book. It is the reason I am sharing my journey. I very much value your Promise. I very much value the Promise of Yahweh that we have together as the Body of Christ. Click here to visit my author website. Sales begin August 7th.

Unity

I am so blessed by my ecclesia. I have always seen the value of my fellow Kingdomers, but I have recently been blessed by so many of them, that I am overflowing with the joy that comes from the unity in Christ.

It helps that it is summer, and I have been able to spend time with many people with whom I do not often have time to interact outside of our weekly gatherings. Whether we have been to lunch together or spent time working out or if we've just sat around their houses and talked, I have been truly been blessed by the conversation and by the facet of Christ that is in each and every one of them.

I have also recently been blessed by some wonderful people in my ecclesia who have joined me on some assignments I am stepping into. In case I haven't publicized it enough, I am publishing a book in August. This would never have been possible without the faith and courage of a family in our ecclesia who decided to start a business that includes publishing. I have had many meetings with my publisher that have not only furthered my book's publication, but inspired me to start a business myself and further my purpose as a writer--a poet and a teller of parables. I have so many more books to write now, and none of this would have been possible without this woman, her family, and their faith.

In conjunction with publishing the book is my first book release party! I have little experience planning parties, but I set up the venue and asked a few people to bring food to the party. I figured food, friends, and books would be a nice little shindig. So I asked one of my dear friends from ecclesia to bring food, and she readily agreed, then said that she would love to help me plan the party so we could "do it right." Now she's looking at Pinterest boards and planning book-related decorations and rattling off a million amazing ideas and plans. I am so beyond excited for this event!

I have also recently changed jobs, which, for a teacher, means changing classrooms. This also means the dreaded time spent decorating bulletin boards. It's actually not so bad, but the giant reams of butcher paper tend to fall in your face when you're trying to staple them to the board and I can't ever seem to cut in straight lines. Fortunately, a young lady in our ecclesia was willing to help me put together my ideas for some wonderful bulletin boards for my classroom. She is pretty much the only reason I have borders on the bulletin boards right now, and she learned how to work the die-cut machine before I did! I really feel like she did most of the work in this, and she did it all happily and with no benefit to herself.

After seeing all this amazingness, I realized again the blessing that my ecclesia is to me and the importance of unity in the body of Christ. Unity is so much more than just getting along with everyone. Unity allows us to fulfill our purposes and accomplish the very things Yahweh sent us to the Earth to do. We join together in the assignments He has given us, and each of us brings a unique facet of Christ to the situation.

My publisher is good with numbers, business, and organization in ways that I am not. She had knowledge about the publishing world and its requirements that I do not know. She has fortitude to press on and discover the best ways of doing things, and she has a personality that makes it seem like we aren't working at all, even while we are accomplishing so much.

My friend who is planning my book release party has great ideas and knowledge of how to find more great ideas. She has knowledge of business and enthusiasm for everything she does. She has many other resources and facets of Christ that I have been blessed by in the past.

My friend who helped me with my bulletin boards has a practical side to her creativity that I found very helpful in putting my classroom together today. It is also way more fun to put up bulletin boards when you have a friend like her around. One thing I think it is important to point out is that she was simply willing to help out a friend.

There is much value in being willing.

I would not be succeeding in these assignments nearly so well as I am without these people. I would not be who I am today without them and many other people in my ecclesia who have stood with me in faith and helped me see the love of Yahweh.

This is what it means to be a part of an ecclesia--a body of Kingdom believers with whom Yahweh sent you to the place where you are to fulfill your purpose. This is what it means to be a part of the body of Christ.

To my ecclesia: thank you! I hope you know how special you are to me.

Declarations for America

Yesterday I wrote about the power of declarations of faith. They are the answer to the cries of all of creation, the Truth of Yahweh that will remain.

Sometimes these declarations are spoken aloud, and sometimes they are written down. I am a writer. I can do both.

Before I begin, let me clarify the definition of declarations. Declarations are when you see by faith the Truth of Yahweh in a situation, and you uncover it and make it manifest by speaking it aloud and writing it down. 

Today I want to reveal some Truths about our country, about the United States of America. Recent events have made me very sad, but they have made me very angry as well because I know the enemy will try and use these events to make people question Yahweh and His sovereignty and to make people doubt America and Americans. I will stand in these Truths and counter the enemy's lies. Remember, the enemy only has as much power as he can make us believe he has. If we believe the Truth, he is POWERLESS. 

The truth is that we were founded as one nation under God and that we are still one nation under God. One. Not black, white, brown. Not doctor, plumber, policeman. Not rich, poor, or middle class. One. American.

The truth is that we have always had issues, but underneath that we have always had a mandate. We, as a country, began the process of modern democracy in the world. We, as a country, brought the concept of freedom into being for such a time as this. That freedom has been an underlying Truth about our nation throughout our history and it is still there. It is being revealed, little by little.

The truth is that most Americans are good. We see the sensationalized media stories of violence in our nation all the time, but every time that this happens, I see people standing up and crying "No! I do not want this!" More people are standing up and crying no in each of these acts of violence than are committing these violent acts.

The truth is that America is still great. We still have people from other countries yearning to come to our shores. We still have the most freedoms of any country in the world. We still have a heritage of freedom and strength to make a draw on. We still have a future of hope and potential to leave a legacy for. I am a teacher. I see these futures every day.

The truth is that Yahweh is still sovereign in our land. He is not surprised by any of this, though He does not condone it either. He is raising up a mighty people...enclaves seeded throughout this nation...who will take Him at His Word and bring His Kingdom to this land. I am proud to be a part of this and to stand with a mighty group of people who are a part of this.

The truth is that this is not limited to America, either. All of the world belongs to Yahweh and as we are faithful in our country, He is calling people to be faithful in other countries so that Yahweh's glory can be made manifest on the Earth.

"Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven."
The truth is, we are the ones who are making this so every time we choose to believe the Truth and thereby wrest power from the enemy.

I do not believe the lies and I bless Yahweh and thank Yahweh for these Truths and for this great and glorious day in which these Truths shall be seen and known!

Declarations

Our words have power.

Yahweh's Word created the entire universe. He left a bit of Himself, this Word, in every atom and molecule of existence. This Word resonates with Itself. There is a part of everything that exists that is awaiting the full manifestation of the Word of the Lord that is resonant inside of them.

Romans 8 says that creation groans, eagerly awaiting the manifestation of the sons of Yahweh. These groans go unheard, unnoticed until the sons stand up and take their places, making declarations of their own. Creation rejoices when the sons make declarations because now they have something with which to resonate. They have a conductor to their symphony and they know the exact frequency with which they should vibrate for Yahweh's full purpose to be revealed.

As we make declarations and they become a part of the very fabric of all of existence itself, creation can remind us again of our declarations when we are tempted by the enemy to forget who we are, where we come from, and that Yahweh has given us all things in Him. Imagine that, as you are walking along the paths of the Earth, every footstep releases the molecules in the ground to vibrate with the same declaration you made in faith. As you play with your dog and he lopes in your backyard, every movement of his body vibrates with the frequency of the Word you declared. As you go about your daily life and are faithful in your job and over your family, every act of obedience, every word spoken to a colleague, every time you give up something you wanted so that another could have their way causes harmonic vibrations that run through your being saying, "Yes! Yahweh is here!" Everything that surrounds you was designed to remind you of Yahweh's Promise so that, when the enemy comes to you and tells you a bunch of lies to make you forget the Word that you heard in faith, creation itself rises up and says "NO! I have heard the Word from your very lips and this is what it is!"

Creation itself wants you to remember the Word of Yahweh. It can be very passionate about it if you but the have ears to hear.

He who has ears to hear let him hear! He who has faith to speak, let him declare! Let all of creation resonate together with the Word of our God. Oh, come Kingdom! HalleluYah!

Two Voices

Each of us speaks with two voices.

Most of us have heard of the "voice within the voice." It's a concept in Christianity that indicates that Yahweh can speak to you through another person. Normally I hear it used when talking about when Apostle releases a word. There's always that deeper voice inside of what He is saying to the ecclesia as a whole that is Holy Spirit speaking to me specifically about my life and how He is working in it. It is because of this that each person who listens to a message that Apostle preaches can hear something slightly different, tailor-made just for them. His voice is speaking, but underneath it, the Word of Yahweh is speaking, too. 

The secular world has this concept as well. Usually it is talking about how someone can say one thing but mean another. Sometimes, they don't even realize they're doing it. It's that inner thought that prompts what is spoken. "I like your dress"  might be true, but it might have an underlying thought of "She can make anything look good" or "I wish I were that pretty." Others are less honest, deliberately saying one thing while meaning another. 

There is a verse in Hebrews which says "An oath of confirmation puts an end to all dispute." Another verse says that every matter must be established by two or more witnesses. There are always two voices.

It can be difficult to understand when the two voices don't line up. Many people... or maybe it's just me... find myself confused when what is presented to them at face value--the first voice--and what they sense underneath--the second voice--are not in agreement. If we're lucky, we will realize the source of the confusion and go looking for the truth. If not, we will begin to believe the lie or disbelieve the truth and eventually decide that the "first voice" is not a trustworthy source. 

So it is with religion. Religion's face-value voice says "God loves you" but underneath it tells us that He hates us. Sadly, people begin to disbelieve the truth that Yahweh loves us because they sense the disconnect between the two things religion is telling us. 

Well-meaning Christians are not to blame for the lies of religion. Since the days of Constantine and the beginning of the Roman-Catholic church, religion has been a mixing of the seed. Yahweh's Truth was mixed with pagan ideas and rituals in order to win more converts and escape persecution. The enemy had an inroads then, and he became one voice of the religious church while Yahweh's Truth was the other. As these two voices are dichotomous, it is easy to see the disconnect between the two voices. 

Religion spends all of its time telling us that we are horrible, horrible sinners who deserve Hell and all that's coming to us and that Yahweh only spared us out of His great and infinite mercy and grace. The focus on our sinful state speaks of a contrary concept to Yahweh's unconditional love. People become confused because once we are saved and have received Yahweh's unconditional love, we are no longer sinners. Our hearts are freed and lined up with Yahweh, and when we occasionally make bad decisions, they are temporary mistakes that have already been forgiven. As long as we keep submitting to Holy Spirit and His wisdom and power, Yahweh will help us grow out of these bad decisions. If we are not submitting to Holy Spirit, I would venture to question our salvation at all. 

I understand why well-meaning Christians want to talk about sin, Hell, and salvation. Firstly, it is technically true. We were sinners and Yahweh did save us out of His love and grace. However, once we are saved we should not focus on sin, but focus on the Savior. Secondly, they are trying to knock down pride or any idea that we could have earned salvation, and let me be clear, we cannot earn salvation. They are also trying to ensure that we value Yahweh and all He has given us. Often, they are speaking to people who are not saved and people who are saved at the same time. It can be hard to tell one person in a public setting that he is a sinner who needs salvation and another person in a public setting that he has already been saved so is no longer a sinner.

Nevertheless, religious Christianity has a problem. It is confusing for people as they sense the disconnect between "God loves us unconditionally" and "You should go to Hell for all the evil that you've done, worm." 

It is difficult to mesh the concepts of mercy and justice in the minds of man. It is hard to say, "God loves you unconditionally but does not accept the evil thoughts/actions that you are participating in." People have decided that they are what they do, and this is not true. 

The truth is, "Yahweh loves you unconditionally and therefore He has better things for you than the evil thoughts/actions you are participating in." He wants more for us than we want for ourselves. C. S. Lewis once said that we are far too easily pleased. 

So people are fleeing religion in droves because they sense the disconnect between the two voices of religion. Unfortunately, they are seeking Truth in places that it will not be found. Babylon, the secular world, has nothing better to offer them, but sometimes because it has two voices that are more in sync, it can look appealing. Just because the two voices are in sync doesn't mean they are speaking Yahweh's Truth. Just because two voices are out of sync doesn't mean that one of them is not true. 

We need to discover the Truth and then discover integrity. Integrity means being completely, 100% of a thing. When we have integrity, our two voices are in sync. When we have integrity, one voice is ours and one voice is Yahweh's. An oath of confirmation puts an end to all dispute, and each matter is established. 

Let me be clear again. Yahweh does love you unconditionally. He also does not love sin. There is no disconnect between these two concepts because you are not your sin. This is the very reason He came to save us and, I would venture to say, the definition of salvation. Salvation is when Yahweh came and separated us from our sin. Thus He can destroy sin without having to destroy us, whom He loves. 

Yahweh is love and He loves all that He called into being. This is true, voiced by Yahshua Himself when He died on a cross as confirmation of the original Word that Yahweh spoke when He brought creation into existence: I love you.

So Yahweh became His own voice of confirmation and that ends all dispute.  

What is a Zadokim (Part 2)?

Scriptural References:

Genesis 14-15
Ezekiel 44 (starting at vs. 15)
Deuteronomy 7:9 (NIV)
Matthew 5:17-18
Hebrews 7
John 14
Psalm 23:3
Hebrews 12

The relationship between Abraham and Melchizedek is a shadow of the relationship between us and Yahshua. That Melchizedek was without beginning and end, a High Priest of God Most High, Possessor of Heaven and Earth and also the King of Salem. His name means King of Righteousness, so He was both King of Righteousness and King of Peace (Shalom-peace, completion, wholeness). When Abraham submitted to Melchizedek and gave a tithe of all, eschewing all possession in Babylon (Genesis 14), Yahweh made a covenant with him (Genesis 15) that was the Covenant of Abraham. There He promised to bless Abraham and his descendants and give him a son, and “Abraham believed Yahweh and it was credited to Him as righteousness.” The rest of Abraham’s life was guided by that covenant.  The King of Righteousness “led him in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake” (Psalm 23:3) and the fact that Abraham did not do it perfectly did not nullify the covenant, but all of Yahweh’s promises to Abraham were fulfilled (yes and amen!).

So it is with us, only better. Yahshua is our Melchizedek, mediator of the New Covenant, the Covenant of Love (Deuteronomy 7:9 NIV). More than just being Preist of God Most High, He is God Most High and Possessor of Heaven and Earth. Therefore, He can be High Priest over other priests. (Hebrews 7). He is a Priest Forever in the Order of Melchizedek. Yet, a High Priest of a priestly order needs priests that minister with Him to God Most High. That is us, the Zadokim (Ezekiel 44:15). We are the righteous ones/sons of righteousness that may “come near to [Him] to minister to [Him]  and they shall stand before [Him] to offer [Him] the fat and the blood.” We can only do this through Yahshua, our High Priest and the Mediator of the New Covenant because He is the “Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through [Him].” 

Yet, we cannot do this if we do not enter the New Covenant. We may cling to the Old Covenant, the Laws of Right and Wrong. (I have been doing this, unaware.) In attempting to be righteous ourselves, we focus on the Tree of Knowledge of Right and Wrong and forget about the Tree of Life, who is Yahshua. He is able to save, and He is able to lead us in the paths of righteousness for His Name’s (name as in etymologically and name as in authority) sake. In this, we can look unto Yahshua, the Author and Perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12), instead of looking to the right and left, the right and wrong, and thus we can walk in paths of righteousness instead of being distracted by the old laws. This is how Yahshua can fulfill the law (Matthew 5:17-18). It is, in fact, the only way the law can be fulfilled. 

It is also the only way we can become Kings and Priests. Priests of the New Covenant and Kings with the authority of righteousness. We are righteous, not because of what we do, but because we believe Yahweh. Like for Abraham, righteousness is a promise. The King of Righteousness and the King of Peace has promised us righteousness and peace and the only way to have righteousness and peace is to receive the promise by faith. The laws of right and wrong do not apply to us, not because there is no right and wrong, but because there is a law that supersedes that, the Law of Love. This law fulfills the law of right and wrong and, just like Abraham messed up and still received the promise, so we can walk in faith that as long as we set our eyes on Yahshua, we shall receive the fullness of the promise even if we make mistakes occasionally, even if we are not perfect. Still, we shall fulfill the laws of right and wrong by fulfilling the Law of Love. We only do this by receiving the Covenant of Love, the Promise of the Father, the New Covenant. 

I am still walking this revelation out, but it is more and more real every day. I look forward to a life lived in the New Covenant, and I am so grateful for our Mediator, our Intercessor, our High Priest, Yahshua. 

The End of the World

I have just finished watching the movie "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close," which is now available on Netflix. It is the story of a young boy coping with the aftermath of his father's death in the World Trade Center on September 11. It is extremely sad and incredibly emotional, and I found myself remembering that day and what it was like.

I was thirteen, and old enough to know how momentous it was. I remember watching the second plane hit the tower on TV. I remember watching the Twin Towers fall. I remember that the entire school was glued to the news until parents complained and made them turn it off.  I remember the entire country pulling together. I remember the whole nation being traumatized by this event. I remember watching them sing "Amazing Grace" on Capitol Hill on the TV that night. I remember the television specials that aired for the rest of the year, and the shows that were not aired because they were too reminiscent of what happened. I remember the national grief and the international support expressed by America's allies.

Then I think back to the Orlando shootings or the Paris attacks or the San Bernardino shootings and I think: this is becoming more common. We are not responding as we did. Instead of nations coming together, we change our profile picture on Facebook to represent our "support" and start politicizing the deaths of innocent people. We are becoming desensitized. Terrorism happens all the time now. We cannot even stop for it anymore.

And I think how easy it is for people to look at the world and decide that Yahshua must be coming back soon because look how awful it is and it must be near the end. We are, after all, destroying ourselves.

I don't know about Yahshua's return date (even He didn't know, He said), but I can tell you that we do not end in destruction, but redemption. Because then I remember that Yahweh is sovereign and none of this takes Him by surprise. I remember His plan and purpose that He set in place from the Beginning. I remember that it is not limited by nations or able to be thwarted by terrorism. I remember that it supersedes circumstance and makes all things good.

Incredibly, He can fix this. Not in the way that you might think, and not in the way that will leave the world like it was before terrorism began. No, He will take us back even further, back to the Beginning, to His original plan for the world.

So while I can look at the news and at society and at all the horrible choices some people are making and the lack of honor for the plan that Yahweh made when He started this whole creation business, I can also see that His plan is still there, still in motion, still redeeming. And I have the chance to choose.

Do I choose to give up and await the destruction of the world, to be mired in depression and hopelessness? Do I choose to strive and attempt to change things in my own strength and with my own resources? Or do I choose to submit to Yahweh's plan and receive my access to Heaven's resources and be a part of the remnant, the redemption, the fruit that will remain when Babylon meets its inevitable end?

Because I can be part of the destruction or part of the redemption, and the End of the World looks a lot like the Beginning.

What is a Zadokim?

Many years ago, I invented a word, or so I thought. This word meant "sons of righteousness" to me. It was Zadokim. After inventing the word, I looked it up and realized that I hadn't invented it at all. I had discovered a Hebrew word that meant "righteous ones."

In the book of Ezekiel, chapter 44, I read some of the saddest verses in the Bible. Israel had gone astray from Yahweh and the priestly order of the Levites had been barred from entering Yahweh's presence because they had aided in Israel's disobedience. I can think of nothing more awful than being kept away from Yahweh. But then I read verse 15. "But the priests, the Levites, the sons of Zadok, who kept charge of My sanctuary when the children of Israel went astray from Me, they shall come near Me to minister to Me; and they shall stand before Me to offer to Me the fat and the blood,” says the Lord God."

This describes the Zadokim. We are the priest of Yahweh Most High and we shall draw near to Him and minister to Him. We shall offer Him our lives and all that is in them. We are priests of the New Covenant, ministering to Yahweh. We are also able to teach His people the difference between the holy and the unholy (vs. 23) and we do it all without sweating, in the rest (vs. 18). 

I am honored to be a Zadokim, a righteous one, a priest of Yahweh Most High, submitted to the High Priesthood of Yahshua--Melchizedek--and we operating in the New Covenant. As we walk with Holy Spirit, each of us can discover our unique Promise and Purpose as His Zadokim in the Earth. We are His representatives. We are His people. We are the Zadokim. 

The Lie within the Lie

So many people struggle with knowing Yahweh's love. Many of the songs on Christian radio are about people who can't seem to grasp that Yahweh loves them no matter what. Perhaps that is why they speak to me so.

The church has confused a lot of people with the constant use of the phrase "unconditional love." They say that Yahweh loves man unconditionally, but then simultaneously preach a doctrine that portrays a God who will smite you if you look cross-eyed at Him or who will not bring your deepest desired blessing to pass unless you manage to get everything perfectly right. One thing wrong, and like dominoes, your blessing falls apart. This dichotomous doctrine has caused many people to overtly or unconsciously doubt that Yahweh truly loves them "unconditionally." The phrase is rendered almost meaningless.

For me, it has been difficult to receive this unconditional love of Yahweh, even when He Himself has been the one telling me that He loves me unconditionally. He is good and patient, though, so He is teaching me.

One thing He has shown me recently is the lie within the lie. This is a devious ploy of the enemy whereby he tells you a lie that we can see outright, but hides another lie within that lie. Thus, when we choose to disbelieve the outright lie, we still have a problem because there is another lie to conquer in our minds before we can truly be free of the enemy's thoughts.

In the Garden of Eden, the overt lie to Eve was that she and Adam would not die if they ate from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, but rather they would be like Yahweh. (Genesis 3:5) There were so many covert lies in that statement, though. One of the biggest ones was that Adam and Eve were not one with Yahweh. Basically, the enemy lied to them by implying that they were not close enough to Him to be "like" Him. How much more like Him could they get, walking with Him in the cool of the day and being united with Him in His Spirit?

Holy Spirit has shown me that the enemy does the same trick to us. For example, the overt lie in the issue of Yahweh's love is that "Yahweh does not love us unconditionally." I have walked with Yahweh long enough now to know that He does love us unconditionally, whether or not I feel it. However, trying to make myself believe this has been frustrating. (It's always frustrating when you try to do something yourself, isn't it?)

Today, Holy Spirit revealed to me the covert lie, namely "I do not believe that Yahweh loves me unconditionally." That's right. I can declare that I already believe that Yahweh loves me unconditionally because in reality, I do.

There is a part of me that existed in the Beginning when Yahweh spoke me into being. This part of me remembers Him whispering His Promise to me. That He would always love me. That He would come back for me no matter how far I went from Him. That He had a plan and purpose for my life all laid out. This part of me not only believes, but KNOWS without question that Yahweh loves me unconditionally and what all of His Promises are.

"Bless the LORD oh my soul and forget not His benefits!" Psalm 103:2

Oh that we would remember the Truth that Yahweh spoke from the Beginning. This truth conquers all lies and all lies within lies. Forget not His benefits, His Promises.

Yahweh is faithful. He reveals the lies and the lies within the lies and then, after He has removed all of the layers that were blocking Him, He reveals the Truth underneath that has been there all along. Thank You, Holy Spirit!

Holy Spirit: We Cannot Handle That and It's Ok!

I continue to be impressed by the importance of Holy Spirit. Without Him, we are powerless and we are not who Yahweh called us to be when He envisioned us in His mind before He created us.

Without Holy Spirit, I am nothing.

Holy Spirit is the Christ anointing that Yahshua left for us when He ascended into Heaven. Holy Spirit is the Person of the Godhead who was supposed to empower us to do all of the things Yahshua said we would do. We cannot do the "greater things than these" that Yahshua spoke of without the empowerment of Holy Spirit.

This is why Yahshua told the Apostles to wait in Jerusalem until we received the "Promise of the Father." He is the Promise to us, and He enables us to fulfill our promise and purpose in the Earth.

In Acts 1:8, Yahshua says that we "...shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you..." linking power with Holy Spirit. In 1 Corinthians 1:24, it says that Christ is the "wisdom and power of Yahweh." Again, if Holy Spirit is the Christ anointing that Yahshua left for us, then Christ in this instance is Holy Spirit and again, Holy Spirit is linked with power, but also wisdom.

Thus, without Holy Spirit we cannot fulfill our purpose because we will lack the wisdom or revelation to know what that purpose is and we will lack the power to carry on to completion what that purpose is.

Holy Spirit allows us access to the deeper things of Yahweh. Yahweh is infinite, and there have been many times I have gotten just a small glimpse of His Infinity and been utterly overwhelmed.

Consider the depths of an ocean. There is only so far down a human body can go without dying. Partially because we need oxygen and the tank that is supplied for SCUBA diving is limited and finite. However, there is also the weight of the water itself to consider. If a human body were to go past a certain depth in the ocean, it would be utterly crushed and overwhelmed by the weight of the water.

Yahweh is much deeper than an ocean. It is only through the Holy Spirit that we can safely explore Him at all. Holy Spirit empowers us to explore Yahweh because--if we submit to Him and His Lordship--He will make us beings capable of withstanding the overwhelming power of Infinity. We can then receive the blessings and assignments that Yahweh has for us in these places in Him.

We can never fulfill our purpose until we become who Yahweh meant us to be in the beginning. He desired a people who would be capable of having a relationship with Him without being overwhelmed by His glory and splendor even as we honor and worship Him as glorious and splendid. Therefore, He sent Holy Spirit to make us into such beings.

Once we have access to the deeper regions of Yahweh to learn His heart and His mind for His creation, we can receive the blessings, power, and assignments to bring His heart and His mind into the Earth that He created and is rightfully His in the first place.

There is so much insanity going on in the Earth right now as people replace their ideas of what seems "good" and "right" for Yahweh's heart and mind. It is happening in the secular world. It is happening in the church. This is only possible because the enemy told us that we didn't need Holy Spirit.

I think part of the reason it was so easy for Holy Spirit to be removed from the church and made the "third wheel" of the Trinity is because it is hard for the human mind to understand Him. We cannot humanize Holy Spirit.

It is easy to anthropomorphize Yahweh. He is not a man, but we can make Him into the image of man so that we can understand Him and put Him in a box. He is a creator. Ok, man creates. We know what creating means. We can handle that. He is a Father. Ok, we've seen fathers. We know what those look like. We can handle that. He loves people. We like to be loved. We can redefine "love" to mean a good feeling. Ok, we can handle that. Many people even picture Him as an old man in a white robe with a long white beard. There is no reason to picture Him this way. It's definitely not how He is described in the Bible. Yet, our minds need some image to hold on to when we consider Yahweh so we put this picture of Him there so we can handle that.

Yahshua actually was a man, so it is easy to humanize Him. We conveniently forget the "Christ" part of Yahshua the Christ and focus on the "Yahshua" part. He was a nice guy! He healed people! He gave people food and fulfilled their basic needs. We want someone to take care of us in that way. Ok, we can handle that. He had long brown hair and brown eyes. He had a nose and mouth. He wore clothes. We understand that. Humanity.

Then there is Holy Spirit. Uhh... He causes you to be empowered to explore the spiritual things of Yahweh. What does that mean? He is a Spirit. What do spirits even look like? Normally we picture ghosts as faded images of the human who has died, but Holy Spirit was never a human and He has never died. We cannot handle that! In fact, one of the very reasons Holy Spirit comes into our lives is to take us to places we cannot handle without Him. Remember the ocean analogy?

So the enemy came and said, "I'll let you keep your God and your Jesus, but I'll take away Holy Spirit! Then you won't have any power. In fact, your God and your Jesus will be powerless because I have taken the wisdom and the power away!" As Yahweh and Yahshua are certainly not powerless, then we are not even really worshipping Yahweh and Yahshua without Holy Spirit because we cannot know Them without Holy Spirit. Instead, we worship false, faded images of Them, but we think it's ok because we think we are really worshipping Yahweh and Yahshua!

Insidious. How dare the enemy let us think we are worshipping our God when all along we are really worshipping idols!?!

We must accept and submit to Holy Spirit as the body of Christ. It is essential for the Kingdom expansion in the Earth and for the fulfillment of Yahweh's original intent for the world. If we do not let Holy Spirit be the Lord of our lives, we will die in the wilderness like those in Israel who refused to hear Yahweh on Mt. Sinai because He was too big and too powerful and too scary and they could not handle that! 

Holy Spirit

Today I am impressed by the importance of the Holy Spirit. He is unique to each of us as He resides in us and we allow Him to lead us and be Lord of our lives.

I was saved for as long as I can remember. I can not recall a time when I didn't know that Baby Jesus came and died for me on the cross. When I was a very little girl and had no concept of geography, I remember thinking that Israel was in the field behind our house. On the horizon, I saw a telephone pole and thought it was the cross. I grew up and learned history and geography and read the Bible and grew in knowledge of Jesus and God, and that kept me holding on until I met Holy Spirit. However, I did not have the power to free myself from depression or fear or the lies that the enemy told me about myself.

I met Holy Spirit when I was 19. As I grew in Him, He introduced me to myself and to a deeper relationship with Yahweh. As I grew in Holy Spirit, I received the power to break free of depression and the lies of the enemy and now I am learning to be fearless.

So many people in the society we live in have been introduced to the concepts of God and Jesus, but they have not met Holy Spirit. Without Holy Spirit, we only have part of the trinity and therefore cannot know Yahweh fully nor can we know ourselves and our purpose fully.

Holy Spirit is not just the tag-along, impotent third-wheel in the triune Godhead. He is, in fact, the One who empowers us to be all that Yahweh called us to be from the beginning. How insidious of the enemy to take Him out of our churches and society! Nobody complains that he's siphoned all the gas out of the car because hey, they still have a car and they can shine it up and make it pretty and point to it and say, "See my car?"

But a car without gas cannot fulfill its purpose and a Christian without Holy Spirit cannot fulfill his or her purpose. We cannot know Yahweh to the depths of who He is. We cannot even know ourselves. So many people walk away from the church because they see the lack of power even while being promised the power that is inherent in Holy Spirit! They become disheartened looking at a car that just sits in the driveway all day. They think that maybe if they sell the car, they can get something more useful, so they do.

If only they knew that the car just needs a little gas, the Christian just needs Holy Spirit, and then we can get going!

There is a reason Holy Spirit is called the Promise of the Father (Acts 1:4). Receiving the promise will change your life. I promise! ;)

Oh, thank You, Holy Spirit, for choosing to dwell inside of me!

Engage

When I teach, there are times when a concept just doesn't click in a student's mind. They often become frustrated at this point, which is understandable. It is very frustrating when a concept is just beyond reach, when all of the pieces of a puzzle are in front of you but you just can't figure out how to put the pieces together. It is even more frustrating when it is something you know you should know, you know you should be able to understand, but it's just not working.

It is at this point that a student has a choice to make. They can keep working at understanding a concept, maybe attempting to fit the puzzle pieces together in different ways or spending extra time on the problem, or they can give up. I feel like many students have given up as early as kindergarten that that is why, when they get to me in middle school and high school, they are so far behind.

Of course, if you don't give up, that's where I, the teacher, can come in and help you and encourage you to get the concept. I might try presenting the concept in a different way or giving you extension activities to help you practice the concept. Of course, if I do these things and you do not engage in them, you will never understand the concept I am presenting to you because, even though you seem to be trying, you've really given up on the inside.

I think that the Kingdom walk is often like this. We try to remember a concept--a Truth, a Word--that Yahweh spoke to us before time but it just doesn't click in our minds. Often that is because it is so contrary to everything we've ever experienced before and everything we've seen out there in the world. It's like we have to unlearn the false concepts before we can even begin to assimilate Yahweh's Truth.

I get frustrated sometimes because I know I should know this! Sometimes I thought I had it, only to have a more advanced problem presented to me and I feel like I'm starting all over again with this concept. Like my students, I have a choice. Do I engage and allow Yahweh to teach me with extension activities and new presentations of the Word or do I give up, walk away, and decide that there really wasn't any truth to this to begin with?

Frustration is not a good reason to walk away, especially when you know that Yahweh is a faithful and capable teacher and He is able to present His truths in a way that you will be able to understand it. I am a firm believer that anyone can learn anything if they put forth the time and effort to doing so. Yes, in public school situations, we don't have an infinite amount of time to devote to one concept for one student in a class of 25 when we have so much to cover before the school year ends. However, Yahweh is the master of time! He is eternal and He literally has all the time in the world to teach you something if you are willing to put forth the effort.

If you keep going, you will get it. In fact, the more you engage, the faster you will get it. Sometimes, we just have to remember Whose we are and that He has already put everything in place for us to have what we need.

Misjudged

1 Corinthians 2:15 reads thus, "But he who is spiritual judges all things, yet he himself is rightly judged by no one."

Tonight, I finally realized something that has been bothering me about my interactions with people out in the world. People treat me as someone who is not me. They treat me as if I do not have clean hands and a pure heart. It has been frustrating me how they react to some of the things that I say or do, or the mistakes that I make.

I feel like I should be treated as a good-hearted person who very rarely does anything intentionally malicious. No, I'm not perfect and I make mistakes and I have bad days, but overall my heart is pure and I am pro- everybody. I want people to succeed, to be happy, to find Yahweh, even if I snap at them occasionally or they frustrate me. It has confused the ever loving daylights out of me why anyone would be otherwise. Why would you NOT want that for all people? It has confused me as to why someone would treat me like I am otherwise.

I suppose that's all they know. If they assume that everyone is malicious and attempting to find ways to undermine people, they will see that in me. Never mind that they don't know me at all if that is how they see me. This is why the verse above applies here. People cannot judge me if they can't even see me. If they think I am being malicious, they have no vision about me. Yet, people with eyes of the spirit can see the truth.

It is also possible, I think, that some people care more about the result than the intention. I am not that way at all. To me, it is all about the heart. Did you do something with a good heart and not have the best results? Yeah, I may be frustrated if I have to clean up your mess, but I am not at all angry with you or against you. Other people might be. This still confuses me. There is another verse that says "man looks at the outward appearance, but Yahweh looks at the heart." To me, that could also read "man looks at the results, but Yahweh looks at the motivation." I have endless grace for people with good hearts and attitudes... Why can't everybody?

The question becomes: How do we respond in these situations?

I spent over a decade hiding from society because I was tired of being misjudged, maligned, and bullied. We are not called to hide from the world, but to affect change in it. Clearly, this is not the right response for this season.

Yet, how do we interact with the world and protect our hearts at the same time? I mean, I don't necessarily care if people misjudge me, but they often do negative things to me because of this mis-judging. Whether that is gossiping about me or trying to cause me problems with other people, I want to avoid these negative responses that come from the blindness of others.

My goal is to both keep myself safe and show people that there are good and honest hearts out there. If I respond in kind to their actions, I have not fulfilled the latter goal. However, if I let people walk all over me, I have not fulfilled the former goal. I suppose if I continue to be myself, the purity of Yahweh will shine through and people can either accept it or not.

Still, I am frustrated, though I am happy to have learned something. Interacting with people is probably the most confusing thing, but I am starting to be excited about figuring out pieces of the puzzle like tonight. I love how Yahweh teaches us new things!

Respect

I can't believe I didn't see it before. The part of the word "spect" clearly has to do with the root word of vision or looking.

Yes, respect means look again. It comes from latin. "Re-" back and "specere" look at.

That gives a whole new meaning to the word, doesn't it. People say they want respect. I guess they mean they want to be looked at as worth something and estimable. They want to be looked at again and again so that they feel valuable.

To me, there is no point in looking again until you look deeper. Why look at something another time if you're not going to see more than you did the first time you saw it?

To me, respect means "see with the eyes of Christ." Look again at a situation, person, fear, circumstance, until you see it with Yahweh's eyes.

Respect your fears and you will see they are not worth fearing.
Respect your elders and you will learn something from them each time.
Respect your situations and circumstances and you will see why you're really in them.
Respect your fellow man and you will see the Promise of Yahweh that they embody.
Respect yourself and you will learn who you really are and how valuable you have been created to be.
Respect your God and He will teach you all things, give you all things... even Himself.

Teacher Appreciation Week

Today was the last day of Teacher Appreciation Week. Our PTO was awesome and got us many goodies including chocolate (which I didn't need, but ate anyway) and dry erase markers (which I always need). Actually, this was probably the best Teacher Appreciation Week I have ever seen.

Teaching is a hard profession, especially in May, which is why I think they put Teacher Appreciation Week in this month. We are always scrambling to wrap up the school year and pull one more essay out of our kids, finish the state tests, complete all the mountains of required paperwork, pack up our classrooms, and file professional development requests. In fact, the "last day of school" is never the "last day of school."

I don't think anyone really knows how hard teaching is unless they are a teacher or a single parent. The only people I've talked to who really understand the difficulties of constantly being on duty on behalf of others are teachers, single parents, and parents of more than six kids. Everybody thinks they know how hard teaching is because they went to school and so they saw it being done. Also, teachers get summer off, and who doesn't love that? (Of course, our paychecks reflect that, too.) Yet, only those who have been there in some way know what it is like to have a profession that requires you to pour into others constantly. Let's just say, we earn those summers!

I had an ironic conversation with my seventh grade girls this past week. We were discussing life in general and the ACT and college in particular. I happened to mention that I got a 21 on the ACT the first time I took it when I was 12. I had already told them that the ACT covers things from about 8-10th grade and that the highest score on the test is a 36. They were surprised at how smart I was. I then told them how I skipped 2 grades, started college at 16, and graduated with a BA at 20. (I swear I've told them this before, but they forget, you know.)

Their faces awed and their eyes wide, they asked, "Why are you a teacher? You could've been something better!"

I was not at all offended and they were not being rude. (Not that they've never been known for that; they are twelve-year-old girls!) They were genuinely curious why I could choose a profession that paid so little and was clearly difficult when I could have done anything I wanted. Some of the comments I heard included that I could've made more money and not had to deal with bratty kids. They floated alternative jobs to me: doctor, veterinarian, policeman, actress. I smiled as I listened to them suggest other career paths, gently telling them why those jobs weren't for me. (Blood=gross, though I did consider being a pediatrician.)

I told the kids that I loved language and I loved kids and I wanted to share my love of language with them. My kids know me well enough by now to realize that I love them, I think, even when I yell and make them do hard projects. I loved having this conversation with them. Getting to have real conversations with my students is one of the most delightful aspects of my job.

Still, it saddened me to realize that this is how people view the teaching profession. I was not surprised, however. We've all heard the old saying, "Those who can't do, teach!" I think society as a whole thinks that teachers are people who couldn't hack it in the "real world" or who weren't smart enough or otherwise capable enough of doing something better. Ninety percent of news stories about teachers are negative. It is assumed that those who demand things like more pay, more support, and less government interference in our classrooms are troublemakers who don't care about their students. I don't understand why anyone would choose teaching as a profession if they did not care about their students. It's certainly not for the money or working conditions.

Really, I can't imagine doing anything else (except writing, which I do anyway). Business doesn't interest me, I neither enjoy nor excel at physical labor, I get this funny feeling at the sight or smell of blood, and I want to stay out of certain situations that other professions might bring me face-to-face with. Believe me, I already see more than I thought to in my current profession.

Teaching is difficult, but what makes teaching difficult is also what makes it worthwhile. My students break my heart on a regular basis. It is difficult to go into work each day knowing that I am fighting that, fighting generational curses that I don't even know, fighting poverty, ignorance, laziness, and fear. I fight on behalf of others and I've only so recently begun to conquer these things on behalf of myself.

I long to save my students from the heartbreak that I went through, and what makes teaching so difficult is knowing that I cannot. Ultimately, they have to make their own decisions. They can receive what I am sharing with them, recognize its value, or they cannot. They can fight me tooth and nail and get nowhere or they can put forth the effort to move from where they are and grow into a place of prosperity. They are ultimately in Yahweh's hands and they will have to meet Him for themselves one day and make their own decisions regarding Him.

I don't understand why society as a whole doesn't see the value in teaching and in teachers. Some people see the value in teachers, I know. I have met some of these people. Still, as a whole, society doesn't value us and I can tell you that because of the support we get. If society valued us, instead of being treated like lazy bums who just aren't getting America's students up to standards, society would look at the system of public education as a whole, the breakdown of the nuclear family, the increase in national poverty, and see that there are situations and circumstances that are beyond the control of the teachers who go into a classroom on a daily basis and fight these situations and circumstances anyway.

Because we are the optimists, the dreamers, the warriors. We are the ones who are willing to go into a no-win situation and believe we can win anyway. We are the ones who dream of a better future and are willing to fight for it on behalf of others. We are teachers, and we are valuable.

So I would like to thank our local PTO and all of the others who support us teachers as we go into battle on a daily basis against the powers and principalities of darkness and bring light by which to see. Just as a warrior cannot fight in a battle without supplies and support, so we cannot do our jobs without resources and backup.

Perhaps if we had more of that, our education system would be a little more successful.

And to all my fellow teachers: Thank you! You are doing an amazing job just by showing up every day and loving those children. I know how you feel. Keep going! It is hard to see it now, but we win in the end.