Misjudged

1 Corinthians 2:15 reads thus, "But he who is spiritual judges all things, yet he himself is rightly judged by no one."

Tonight, I finally realized something that has been bothering me about my interactions with people out in the world. People treat me as someone who is not me. They treat me as if I do not have clean hands and a pure heart. It has been frustrating me how they react to some of the things that I say or do, or the mistakes that I make.

I feel like I should be treated as a good-hearted person who very rarely does anything intentionally malicious. No, I'm not perfect and I make mistakes and I have bad days, but overall my heart is pure and I am pro- everybody. I want people to succeed, to be happy, to find Yahweh, even if I snap at them occasionally or they frustrate me. It has confused the ever loving daylights out of me why anyone would be otherwise. Why would you NOT want that for all people? It has confused me as to why someone would treat me like I am otherwise.

I suppose that's all they know. If they assume that everyone is malicious and attempting to find ways to undermine people, they will see that in me. Never mind that they don't know me at all if that is how they see me. This is why the verse above applies here. People cannot judge me if they can't even see me. If they think I am being malicious, they have no vision about me. Yet, people with eyes of the spirit can see the truth.

It is also possible, I think, that some people care more about the result than the intention. I am not that way at all. To me, it is all about the heart. Did you do something with a good heart and not have the best results? Yeah, I may be frustrated if I have to clean up your mess, but I am not at all angry with you or against you. Other people might be. This still confuses me. There is another verse that says "man looks at the outward appearance, but Yahweh looks at the heart." To me, that could also read "man looks at the results, but Yahweh looks at the motivation." I have endless grace for people with good hearts and attitudes... Why can't everybody?

The question becomes: How do we respond in these situations?

I spent over a decade hiding from society because I was tired of being misjudged, maligned, and bullied. We are not called to hide from the world, but to affect change in it. Clearly, this is not the right response for this season.

Yet, how do we interact with the world and protect our hearts at the same time? I mean, I don't necessarily care if people misjudge me, but they often do negative things to me because of this mis-judging. Whether that is gossiping about me or trying to cause me problems with other people, I want to avoid these negative responses that come from the blindness of others.

My goal is to both keep myself safe and show people that there are good and honest hearts out there. If I respond in kind to their actions, I have not fulfilled the latter goal. However, if I let people walk all over me, I have not fulfilled the former goal. I suppose if I continue to be myself, the purity of Yahweh will shine through and people can either accept it or not.

Still, I am frustrated, though I am happy to have learned something. Interacting with people is probably the most confusing thing, but I am starting to be excited about figuring out pieces of the puzzle like tonight. I love how Yahweh teaches us new things!