I always like to take stock of the year at milestones such as these and look back at all that Yahweh has done.
I know if you look at the media, it would be easy to surmise that 2016 has been a rotten year for the majority of Americans and the world in general. I know better than to listen to the media, and even though some negative things have happened in the world, Yahweh is sovereign and any change such as we've seen can be used by Him to bring Heaven more fully in unity with Earth. Indeed, for some the removal of one layer of illusion in society will allow them to step more fully into the Truth of Yahweh as they begin to look deeper past the layer they are currently seeing. That is hopeful.
In my personal life, 2016 has been the best of my 28 years, and it only gets better from here. Even as I think to describe it, know that I am a Wordsmith, yet even I cannot adequately express what Yahweh has done for me here.
Let me start by saying that 2016 did not start out as the best year of my life. Indeed, for the first four months I wondered if I could make it through 2016 at all. The enemy saw my breakthrough coming, and he tried to stop me before it got here, lest I remember my Promise and my power and utterly defeat him.
Somewhere in the back of my soul for the whole of my life until now, I had a fear that I did not deserve to be alive. A generational curse told me that I needed to earn my space in this world, and that if I were not good enough everyone--Yahweh included--would hate me and wish that I didn't exist.
I started 2016 alone and in fear, thinking that I did not deserve to live and that anything that went wrong in my life was somehow my fault. I spent a few evenings literally lying on the floor crying or in panic attacks because the enemy was sending me false visions involving my blood and knives and other details I will not go into. Fortunately, Yahweh has always been sovereign and I knew that the visions weren't true, though even seeing them was scary. Yet, Yahweh had me, and He surrounded me with a people who would stand with me in faith and remind me of truth until I could remember it myself.
This happened in April, around the time of First Fruits, when we celebrate Yahshua--Yahweh's first and best--by coming into agreement with Him as we give our first and best. It was then that Yahweh reminded me of my Promise, the Covenant that we made together before time to create me.
I have never since doubted that I deserve to be alive.
As we moved through the year, I published a book related to the Promise, "Promises: The Poetry of the Zadokim." I also received a deeper revelation of the Zadokim anointing, that we as priests and kings of Yahweh most high could go directly to Him and minister to Him and offer Him the fat and the blood. We do so in worship and we do so by ruling and reigning and taking our place in this Earth for His glory.
I had the last panic attack in June, when Yahweh told me that I have the power to stand up to the enemy... all the power in the universe, in fact. As fear tried to grip me, once more and my breathing became shallow, I stopped and told Satan and fear that they have no power over me because I have all the power in the universe. It was gone in five minutes, and I was praising Yahweh, dancing and weeping in joy. The next night, it happened again, just to cement the reality of Yahweh's Word. Again, I told fear that I have power and it does not and it left me, never to return. Yahweh was proud of me, and I wrote poetry and a letter to Him in praise.
In the natural, I received a job that is much better for me and where I can still make a difference and help kids. I have supportive co-workers and administrators and wonderful students. I am no longer exhausted by the school year.
One of the best things that has happened to me this year is that I found my Promised Land, or the place that Yahweh has given me to operate and reign in. I am a poet and a parablist. I am a writer and I take all that Yahweh shows me and put it in poetry and parables so that He can be seen and glorified in greater measure. I have written 4 books since publishing my first one and cannot wait to see the rest be published. I have started a business to write and sell these books and I have two book signings coming up in January.
Even more wonderful things have happened. I have learned to see beyond the Veil, to see from Yahweh's perspective and He has shared parts of Himself with me that are so glorious and so beautiful that I must weep at the splendor.
I do not dread 2017. I have dreaded every New Year that I can remember. Even as a child, I knew pain and I was smart enough to know that both good and bad would come in the year ahead. I had a wonderful imagination, but as it was not aware of Yahweh as it is now, it would take me down the path of thinking that horrible things could happen in the next year that I could neither predict nor alter.
I never thought about the wonderful things that could happen, and as I grew older and pain was all I knew, I stopped looking forward to anything. Dread started each day with me, and I did not know it could be any different.
Yet now, I know the sovereignty of Yahweh in greater measure, and the relationship I have with Him can only deepen in the coming year. He has Promises for me that are beyond my wildest dreams and I am excited to see them manifest in this world.
I see the world so differently now. I see with more of Yahweh's view. His Reality is sovereign in me and in my perspective. I did not know that life could ever be this good. Yet, now I know that life can be even better. It only ever gets better, for Yahweh can only ever increase.
But none of this would be possible without Yahweh. If I had listened to the visions of the enemy and hurt myself or taken myself out of the Promise as they called me to do, I would never have experienced this joy and this rapture. Life is good and worth it. Yahweh is Life.
If you watched me walk through the things I suffered at the time, you know I would not have then called them "light afflictions," yet compared to the joy that I walk in now, compared to Yahweh, they are just that. He promised: "Wherever you go I will find you/ wherever you are, there I'll be." He has kept His Promise in greater ways than I could have ever imagined, fathomed, or even dreamed.
HalleluYah!
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