Me in 2010 |
That's approximately 200 pounds ago.
How I Got to Be So Huge
From the age of 10-21, I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I took quite a few antidepressants and tried to survive. I also didn't really socialize with my peers, since I was one of those gifted and talented students who had a hard time connecting with people my own age. I was so bullied and ostracized that I liked to imagine that I was hiding inside a suit of armor so that nobody could hurt the real me. I then constructed that suit of armor with fat.
Of course, I didn't even know who the real me was.
When I was 21, I was healed of clinical depression by Yahweh, My God, who is able to do all things and SO MUCH MORE than I ever imagined! At that point, He told me it was time to let go of the weight I had been wearing as protection for so long.
The Process
Yahweh used the doctor to tell me that I needed to lose weight. It's not like she hadn't been telling me for years. I weighed almost 400 lbs and I was well aware that a diet consisting solely of fast-food, pasta, and sugary substances was not going to lead to a long life. But what did I care? Life was miserable and sugar was tasty. But a few months after I was healed of clinical depression, the doctor said I was heading for Type II Diabetes.
She was probably hopeless as she wrote me a prescription for a glucose regulating pill and told me yet again that I needed to exercise and eat right to lose weight.
Only this time, I was ready to listen.
I began by walking for 10 minutes on a treadmill. I know, 10 minutes doesn't seem like a lot, but believe me it is when you are carrying 387 lbs around. Each day, I increased the time by one minute until I was walking for 30 minutes a day. I knew I couldn't skip a day or I would quit, so for the first year of weight loss, I walked 30 minutes a day every day, with only weekends as a break. For those of you who like exercising and think that sounds like fun, it wasn't. I still don't like exercising, really, but I love the results!
I also started eating health bars. Now, at this time, I had no idea what I was doing, but eating health food bars for breakfast and lunch and then having a more healthful dinner was certainly better than eating Spaghetti-O's for three meals a day. (Yes! I did that!)
All of this lasted about a year until I got the stomach flu. Then, with prompting from Yahweh, I went to the doctor. She tested my blood sugar levels and they were legitimately perfect. Right in the middle of the normal range. I didn't have to take any medicine anymore, and though they wanted me to keep taking it because it was helping me lose weight, I refused to take a medicine I didn't need.
After moving out of my parents' house to accept my first teaching job, I decided that I couldn't spend the rest of my life eating health food bars for 2 meals a day. So I tried to eat healthier meals for breakfast and lunch, and it worked somewhat.
A year later, I met my friend who is a nutrition expert. He offered a class, which Yahweh told me to take, that taught me how to eat healthily. It was simple. All I had to do was avoid the chemically processed food and stick to the things that Yahweh created for us to eat. While the first six weeks or so are supposed to be plant-based foods only, I basically ate a plant-based diet for a year and a half.
After that, as part of the first fruits offering at our ecclesia, I spent 2 months eating as recommended by the Ketogenic Diet: high fat and low carb. I love carbs... during those 2 months, I literally dreamed about hot fudge sundaes and fruit! (That's right, 2 months without fruit!)
Then, Yahweh told me it was time to focus on balance. While I still eat mostly non-processed foods, I am no longer as legalistic about it. If one of my students shares five Reese's Pieces with me, I will eat them instead of telling the child no thanks. This is more of a lifelong sustainable eating method and I think I'm going to enjoy it.
I have also kept exercising, though the method has changed. Right now, I do a class called "Praise Moves" once a week. It is a Christian alternative to the Hindu practice of Yoga and it is so fun because the lady who teaches my class is incredibly encouraging.
The Future
I figure I've got 30-50 pounds more to go on this weight-loss thing. I'm almost done, and I can't believe it. Yahweh has been so faithful and I've learned so much.
As I've pressed into Him and been faithful in the natural processes listed above, Yahweh has been continuously healing me of old fears and mindsets that were hindering my ability to lose weight and walk freely in this world. It is as He has eliminated the fears that I have been able to walk this process out. And I've learned that what's important is to be healthy, not skinny, so that I can live long and glorify my Father on this Earth.
And isn't He worth it all?
So how did I lose 200 pounds? With the help of my Father, Yahweh. Why? For His glory? Could I have done it without Him? NO! Believe me, I tried, but every time I tried to do it in my own effort, I couldn't make it last longer than a week.
So this is His Story, His Glory, and His Accomplishment. And I was faithful to obey His Word.
HalleluYah!
Me Last Month |
You are truly a testament of our Heavenly Father and a submitted heart of a daughter! You are inspiring and challenging! Bless you my gorgeous friend!
ReplyDeleteCassandra, you look great and I am so proud of you! I am happy to see you are much healthier! Definitely inspirational :)
ReplyDeleteThis is such a fantastic story! It's so amazing to see how much you've grown in the kingdom in just a few years. Reading this brought such joy to me in seeing how much you've overcome. You look fantastic, and I'm so blessed to know such a faithful son (daughter?) of Yahweh.
ReplyDeleteYou look absolutely beautiful and awesome!!! I am proud to call you my niece...and I always was. Love you!
ReplyDelete