I Love Life

I am realizing, recently, how often I wait expectantly for something. Once I'm married... Once I lose more weight...  Once I have kids... Once (insert whatever here)...

I know we all know better. Be happy where you are. But it's so easy to fall into the trap, once having seen a vision, of putting off your joy until you receive it. Or trying to make it come to pass. Or even being anxious that it won't.

But here's the thing: I'm happy where I am. I mean, I never thought I could even reach this point let alone the visions I've seen for the future. And everything happens in its time, so trying to rush the future won't help. So I've decided to enjoy where I am. I know that where I am is for such a time as this.

And when I do get married, lose more weight, and have kids, I will have different responsibilities than I have now. I have this time as a gift, to redeem things I never knew I had lost. I have this time, this short time, to be free of all the weight and worry of the lies that beset me when I was young and yet still not have so many responsibilities that they themselves weigh me down. I am faithful over what's been given to me now, so in due time my metron will increase. In the meantime, I shall enjoy where I am and who I am. And have faith for where I will be.

For how good and pleasant it is to dwell with Yahweh. To know who I am and where I am and that I am exactly where I am supposed to be for the moment.