Ethics of A Panicdemic

Here are some ethical questions to consider.

Let’s say you’ve been kidnapped and your kidnapper offers you a choice. Shoot one person in the head or choose between two buttons, one of which will do nothing and the other of which will detonate a bomb that will kill 10,000 people. (You cannot choose to shoot the kidnapper.)

1)      Would you shoot the person in the head or pick a button?

2)      Does this answer change if you have to shoot 2 people? 10? 20? At which point does the number become unacceptable?

3)      Does the answer change if your closest loved ones are among the 10,000?

4)      Does the answer change if your closest loved ones are the people you have to shoot?

5)      Does the answer change if you have to shoot yourself?

Changing the scenario a little. Let’s say that the kidnapper makes you choose a button before then choosing to shoot the people.

1)      How would you feel if your kidnapper told you after you had shot the person/people that the button you had chosen would have caused no harm?

2)      How would you feel if your kidnapper told you after you had shot the person/people that the button you had chosen would have killed 10,000 people?

3)      How would you feel if you had chosen not to shoot the person/people and the button you had chosen would have caused no harm?

4)      How would you feel if you had chosen not to shoot the person/people and the button you had chosen would have killed 10,000 people?

 Same scenario, only now in this situation, you can choose to kill the kidnapper, but if you fail, the 10,000 people will die.

1)      Are you obligated to try to kill only the “bad guy” and attempt to save all innocents?

Same scenario, only in this situation, the people you are shooting in the head have an equal chance of surviving their head wound as the 50/50 chance of blowing up the 10,000 people?

1)      Would you shoot the person in the head or pick a button?

2)      Does this answer change if you have to shoot 2 people? 10? 20? At which point does the number become unacceptable?

3)      Does the answer change if your closest loved ones are among the 10,000?

4)      Does the answer change if your closest loved ones are the people you have to shoot?

5)      Does the answer change if you have to shoot yourself?

 Same scenario, only in this situation, you have 100 buttons to choose from and 99 will do nothing, but 1 will detonate the bomb.

1)      Would you shoot the person in the head or pick a button?

2)      Does this answer change if you have to shoot 2 people? 10? 20? At which point does the number become unacceptable?

3)      Does the answer change if your closest loved ones are among the 10,000?

4)      Does the answer change if your closest loved ones are the people you have to shoot?

5)      Does the answer change if you have to shoot yourself?

Same scenario, only in this situation, you have 100 buttons to choose from and 99 will do nothing, but 1 will detonate the bomb, also the gun is a six shooter and only 1 bullet is loaded. Also, there are 700,000 people in the blasting zone.

1)      Would you shoot the person in the head or pick a button?

2)      Does this answer change if you have to shoot 2 people? 10? 20? At which point does the number become unacceptable?

3)      Does the answer change if your closest loved ones are among the 700,000?

4)      Does the answer change if your closest loved ones are the people you have to shoot?

5)      Does the answer change if you have to shoot yourself?

Same scenario, only in this situation, you can choose to give up control and allow the kidnapper, the people who will be shot, and the people in the blasting zone to all do what they need to do in a desperate bid for life. By walking away, you know that some will die, but you don’t know if it is greater or fewer people than who would have died if you followed the kidnapper’s directions.

1)      Do you choose to walk away or take control?

2)      Does you choice make you responsible for the lives lost? Why or why not?

3)      Would you have been more or less responsible for the lives lost by making the opposite choice? Why?

Helping Someone Through Trauma and Grief

I've been through a lot lately, and I have learned a lot about dealing with grief and trauma through this process. I've had many friends who've let me down, and I've had some truly wonderful people who have been willing to invest themselves in my healing process in ways that make me feel like maybe I'll make it through this and there will be another side. There are many things people don't know about grief and trauma until you've been through it. Certainly I didn't know these things before, and even now each person's situation is so unique, there is no one right way to grieve. Still, these things are basic guidelines that I think are useful in most situations, although it is always important to let the person going through it lead the process. I posted last year about the boundaries I set and what I needed for people to help me in my grief. Many of these statements are similar because what I've learned is based on my own experience, though the overall post is more generic.

*There is no wrong way to grieve, and the bereaved is not following any timeline but their own.

*It is better to admit when you're not able to deal with trauma or grief than to blame the victim for making you uncomfortable.

*It is better to ask someone how you can help them in their healing or grieving process than to try to impose your ideas of right and wrong upon a person and then tell them you can't help them if you won't follow their advice.

*It is better to be quiet and sit with and hug someone than to offer "advice" that is judgmental, accusatory, or otherwise going to make their process more difficult. (Advice can be helpful... see below.)*What has been comforting in your situation may or may not be useful to others, so offering that in the phrasing "When I lost ____, it helped me to _____" or "When I went through ____, I found comfort by ____" instead of "You should/must/need to _____" is more compassionate and empathetic as well as less judgmental or alienating.

*Always respect the boundaries of the person who is grieving. If they ask you to stop telling them to ___, then stop! If they reach out and need your support and you don't know how to give it to them, ask them to express what they need and do that if you are able. Do not try to substitute what you want to give for what they know they need.

*Grief lasts longer than a couple of months or years, and there will always be moments such as holidays or anniversaries that the person can use extra support.

*If someone isn't able to reach out to you or express what they need, feel free to reach out to them, but don't be offended if they can't reach back or explain themselves to you. You don't know how grieving will change the whole landscape of how you relate to people until you've been through it.

*A person who is grieving is a beautiful, probably happy, good person whose life has just been turned upside down. They never, ever need to be blamed for their grief, reactions, or choices. I know there are some ways to grieve that are unhealthy (such as substance abuse), but again that needs to be dealt with using empathy and compassion instead of judgment. And yes, in that sometimes you'll need to set boundaries of your own. But boundaries and compassion are not mutually exclusive.

*Supporting someone who is traumatized or grieving will not be a quid pro quo arrangement. The bereaved is in survival mode and doesn't necessarily have anything left over to pay you back for your support. Depending on where they're at in their process, they may not even be able to express gratitude, though they feel your support for sure.

I wanted to say thank you to the amazing people in my life who have been there and done this for me without asking for anything in return. I couldn't go through this process without you. ❤️

Encouragement

Encouragement, like everything, is a multi-layered concept.

There is one layer in which the Spanish word for encouragement is apt. Animar. This word has connections to the Spanish word for cheerleader and the English word for animate. This layer of encouragement is the one you give to someone who is trying to do something that is difficult. The goal of this type of encouragement is to motivate them to continue in the difficult thing. You might hear phrases like, "Keep going" or "You can do it" or "It'll be so good when you accomplish this!" This layer of encouragement is useful in many ways. It motivates someone who has already chosen to do something difficult and begun the task to keep going through the process, which is often long and difficult. It also helps someone to feel like others believe in them, which can be helpful when they stop believing in themselves as the process becomes more onerous.

There is another layer of encouragement in which you tell someone that where they are is okay. In this, a person might be going through a difficult time and having a hard time getting through it. They might be struggling and want to pull themselves out of the valley and onto the mountaintop, but they need to rest and regain their strength before they continue their journey. Because society and religion often use guilt, shame, and fear to try to push someone out of the valleys and onto the mountaintops as quickly as possible, this kind of encouragement is invaluable because it lets people know that it's okay to be sad, it's okay to grieve, and it's okay to have negative experiences or emotions. "This is normal," "You're doing great," "It's okay to take a break" and other such phrases accompany this layer of encouragement.

I think my favorite layer of encouragement is the one where you are actively supporting someone long-term in the process of walking through something that is difficult. This person has already been through many mountains and valleys, and you have chosen to walk along with them in this journey, weaving these first two layers of encouragement together with the beautiful blessings of presence and support. Not only are you adept at switching between the "you can do it" type of encouragement and the "take a break for now" type of encouragement as the situation warrants, but you're there with them while they cry in the valleys and exult in the mountains. There are not words to describe how valuable simple presence can be. Additionally, sometimes instead of just standing on the sidelines and shouting ideas and valuable truths, you get into the walk and help them. Whether this is removing an obstacle from someone's path or helping them lift the obstacle themselves, you have invested so much of yourself in this journey that you are willing to give of your emotional energy, time, space, and possibly even finances or other resources.

I love to see the deeper layers of things, and I so value the encouragement of those who are willing to go with me into the depths, who see and value the things that are beyond the surface level, and who are willing to weave together a Tapestry that includes both mountains and valleys, all of which are glorious.

Challenges, Tragedies, and Traumas

Under the umbrella of "difficult times of life" there exist challenges, tragedies, and traumas, vastly different experiences that help shape who we are. Those who haven't endured all three cannot understand this difference, and they often mix them up with one another when dealing with people who are experiencing hard times. Each requires a different response, each touches a different place in a person, and each will help us grow if we let it.

Challenges are probably the most common difficulty I can think of, and I cannot think of anyone who hasn't faced challenges in their lives. The first grader faces challenges when learning to read or do  math for the first time. Adults face challenges like everyday work issues such as dealing with difficult coworkers and deadlines, family issues such as raising children or relating to partners, and specific event-based issues that require extra effort to overcome.

Tragedies are horrible things that happen to you. They are (hopefully) not common, but everyone experiences them at some point. Tragedies include great loss and a fundamental shift from before to after. There is a destruction involved and something that will never quite be the same. Losing a loved one is a tragedy. Natural disasters are tragedies. Certain diagnoses are tragedies.

Traumas are horrible things that happen to you--either in a single moment or over time--that cause a fundamental shift in your mental and physical makeup as well as the world around you. Your mind shatters, and every cell in your physical body internalizes the event (or series of events) that happened. Your being takes this trauma into the center of itself and wraps itself around it because it is so big that you cannot deal with it all at once. Then, it slowly releases the trauma over time in the form of nightmares, panic attacks, or other symptoms that you process as you can. Tragedies can be traumas when you lose something so great that your being cannot process everything you've lost at once, but they are not always traumatic or traumatic to the same degree.

The complications of combining these difficult times are so vast that I could not encompass them here. There is a term called "complicated bereavement" which describes what happens when trauma compounds tragedy. And of course, every challenge is made that much more difficult when you're also carrying a trauma around. Trauma makes everything harder.

The response to these hard times must be as different as the hard times themselves. Challenges help you grow; they stretch you. The word "overcoming" is good here because challenges give you that feeling of triumph and victory at the end once you've gotten to the other side of them. The sense of pride and accomplishment are so worth the challenge that often people create challenges for themselves in the form of resolutions or goals so that they can feel that sense of accomplishment.

Tragedies and traumas are not to be overcome, however. There is no getting to the other side of them. They will forever be a part of the Tapestry of your Life now, but this is not fatalistic or sad. There is a new dimension and depth to your life as you integrate the tragedies and traumas. There is a new relationship with Yahweh that cannot be known without them. There are new ways of seeing, and the ability to recognize beauty in ashes. Those who have experienced tragedies and traumas recognize each other because there is just something MORE about that person, about their perspective, about what they have to offer. That greater vision, that greater expression, that greater knowledge of Yahweh is what makes the tragedies and traumas of life worth it. No, there may not be a sense of accomplishment or pride at climbing to the top of the mountain here, but there is a richer joy and sense of value that can be found in the valley.

It is in the tragedies and traumas that the highways of our God are made. Every mountain is brought low as every valley is exalted, for we learn to love and rejoice and weep and lament equally in valley as on mountaintop. It is in this that we become secure because now, forever after these experiences, we realize Yahweh--who we are--cannot be taken from us because of where we are, the things that happen to us, or even what we do.

Grief is the Golden Thread in the Tapestry, and I would no more want to overcome and move beyond it than I would want to overcome and move beyond the people I loved and lost. It cost me everything and it is part of me now, so I don't want to get rid of my tragedies and traumas; I want to put them in their places.

Tragedies can be woven into the Tapestry of Life more quickly than traumas simply because they can be processed more quickly. Your mind is not hiding part of a tragedy from you in order to process some of it later, so you can process it as a whole. (Again, many tragedies are traumas, so I am not talking about those.) Traumas often take years to uncover. Sometimes they happened over years of time, but even if they didn't, your mind and body are working together for you in order to help you process something so big and so deep without it overwhelming and killing you. Just as your physical body stores toxins in fat and will not release those toxins until it senses that your body is ready to process and deal with them, so your mind and body store traumatic experiences that express themselves in your life a little at a time as you are ready to deal with them. This is not to say processing trauma will always happen at convenient times. Sometimes you may not think it's an opportune time to deal with them, like in the middle of a workday or when you REALLY need to focus on a major project. However, dealing with the traumas when they're exposed by your mind and body is healthier than suppressing them.

It is in dealing with them--in processing the traumas in healthy ways and allowing ourselves to go through the pain-- that we grow. Suppressing the trauma and burying it when your mind and body are telling you you're ready to deal with it can cause long-term negative health effects such as ulcers. Still, enduring the processing can almost feel like dying. It takes discernment to know how to navigate the healing process, and there is no one right way to do it.

So how can you help someone dealing with challenges, tragedies, and traumas?

*We all experience challenges regularly. Challenges can be helped with encouragement, by reminding someone of the vision of the "other side," and sometimes by helping with details of the challenge such as lightening the workload or offering to take up the slack elsewhere while someone focuses intently on the challenge.

*Tragedies often require a longer commitment than a challenge. In a tragedy, empathy is helpful. Listening to the person as they lament their loss or remember the good old days is helpful. Remembering that they've been through a tragedy and that it's not going to go away months or years later is helpful. People who have lost someone will always find holidays hard, for example, so acknowledging that and remembering that in the midst of your merry-making is kind.

*Traumas require the longest commitment of all, and I have found that few are able to truly be helpful here. Empathy is essential, and without it the traumatized person's experience is often made worse. Many of the same helps for tragedies apply to traumas, but additional help such as reassurance of insecurities and reminders of the entirety of the Tapestry instead of the single Thread are also needed. Many people who experience traumas need professional help such as therapy or counseling.

Growth is life, and all of these things help us grow. As long as we are still growing, we are okay, even in the midst of our challenges, tragedies, and traumas. Each of us has a unique path in life, and it is never helpful to harangue someone about their path. Helping others who are growing in these times requires you to let that person take the lead, get in their boat, and let them steer. If you're brave enough, you can experience some of the beauty of new vision that the person who has endured the tragedies and traumas of life will gain from this experience, though ultimately they are the ones who will grow to a new dimension beyond anything ever known.

We all have our challenges, tragedies, and traumas from which we grow. As long as we are growing, we are okay. The Tapestry of Life is greater than a single Thread, and I know that ultimately we will see how beautiful it all is.

Setting Boundaries

This season of First Fruits, Yahweh has been teaching me about loving myself. Part of loving yourself is trusting yourself and your relationship with Yahweh in all things. Over the last sixteen months of grieving, I have often reached out to people only to have them respond in ways that felt like slapping me in the face. I am talking about multiple people whom I trusted to help me carry this heaviest of loads when the time came. I know that all of the people to whom I reached out were genuinely and sincerely trying to be supportive. They have good hearts and are kind people. Thus in receiving their hurtful responses, I thought there was something wrong with me when they were hurtful instead of helpful. I added the burden of their feelings and expectations to my grief as I sifted through my own mind and emotions to find out why their responses hurt me when they had such loving hearts. 

I did not trust myself then to know what I needed in this grief. I did not trust myself to articulate what I needed because I was afraid of losing what little support I had. Now, however, I realize that support that feels like a slap in the face is actually not support, and so I am setting boundaries. I realize that some of the people I attempted to reach out to may not have known how to help me in my grief, and so I am telling you how to help me now. If you truly want to support and love me through my grief, please let me know. Reach out to me via text or direct message and let me know you're safe for me to talk to. I need you. I am trying to build a support network by this post. If you cannot follow these boundaries, that's fine. I understand this is a heavy things I carry, and I love and respect you anyway. We will simply talk of other things and I will reach out to those who can truly help me in this time when I am having a rough night, a hard week, or a holiday/anniversary experience. 

The Boundaries:

1) I am the expert.        
I know me and what I need in my grief. If I tell you to stop doing something, please do not continue to do that thing and then justify it. It is hurting me. I don't care if you don't understand why it hurts me, if you think it shouldn't hurt me, if it wouldn't hurt you if you were in my situation, or even if it was the magic key to helping you progress in your own grieving experiences. We are different people. Each grief is as unique as the relationship between the person grieving and the person who has been lost. I know what I need. If I don't, I will ask. If you make suggestions, they are not commands, and I may or may not follow your advice. 

2) You do not need to motivate me to get out of pain.
 I don't need any statements like "You need to____. You should______. Choose to be______. If you would______." Yahweh and I are growing and I am doing what I know is healthy and helpful for me in my grief. You are free to make suggestions as to things that might help me, but if I tell you that it won't be helpful, do not continue to make suggestions. Trust me that I know what I need. Also, suggestions are not commands. If I do not do what you say and you withdraw your support from me, then you did not have unconditional love and support for me. I am growing with Yahweh. I am not stagnating or going backwards. If you cannot see that, then trust me on it. I do not need a kick in the pants to move forward because I AM moving forward.

3) Grief is a long-term process.
I have been grieving for sixteen months/2.5 months and it's only just begun. Really, I have to work through things that have been happening all my life and for generations beyond that. If you think I can just pray in tongues and make some declarations for a few days and fix all of this, you are mistaken. I will not circumvent the grieving process by pushing the pain down and pretending it is all okay in order to make other people comfortable. That is how future mental and physical illnesses happen. It may be a long-term process, but I will complete the process as Yahweh leads and in His and my timing, not two weeks after the funeral as most people seem to want. 

4) Pain is not the enemy. 
Helping others grieve does not entail trying to fix the pain or telling them to move on. It is helping them carry and integrate the pain into their lives like a thread in a Tapestry. Grieving does not make someone less faithful, less joyful, or less spiritual. It actually makes us more. Support the grieving in this. Stop telling us to move on, be joyful, or DO anything to get out of pain. Sit with us in the pain. Hold our hands and recognize that we know Yahweh here as much as we do in joy and laughter. Help us bear the burden instead of adding more burden to us by trying to get us to meet your expectation of “being okay.” Yahweh is in the pain as much as the joy, and I will know Him here. 

5) I do not need to be screamed at.
Ever. Period. Yes, there may be times when it doesn't trigger me, but there are times when it does and neither of us know when that will happen. Screaming never did anything to motivate me anyway, even if I needed to be motivated (see #2). 

6) You do not get to come between me and Yahweh.
A good, healthy relationship allows people to feel loved and appreciated and helps us know Yahweh more. If you try to tell me what's right and wrong, if you try to establish the vision for my life and future, if you try to tell me what I am supposed to be doing, you are coming between me and Yahweh. This is not a healthy relationship, then. Yahweh and I have an excellent relationship which has always blessed me and allowed healing and growth. Theology, principles, and laws--whether Christian or Kingdom or otherwise-- have never healed me. Yahweh has healed me. If theology, principle, and law helps me know Yahweh better, then it has led to healing, but it has never been the source. I do not need your theology, nor do I need you to believe mine. My relationship with Yahweh is unique to me. Sometimes, we will have some things in common, other times we will not. That's okay, but if you try to shove your theology on me, that's like shoving a false garment on me that I will only have to remove later. I trust Yahweh. I trust myself. I trust what I have learned in my relationship with Yahweh. It is ridiculous to believe that Yahweh would tell someone else something about my life instead of me. I have only recently come to the awareness of this.

7) What worked last time won't work this time.
I have already been healed of and overcome so many things, but the path I took last time is not the same path I will take this time. I am different now, I am grown. It would make no sense for the principles that led to my knowing Yahweh more last time to help me know Him more this time. That would be like having a 12th grade Calculus student with foundational mathematical knowledge learn single-digit multiplication over and over again. Sure, it helped them pass the third grade, but it won't help them now!

8) Helpful vs. Hurtful Statements
Use empathetic phrases like “I’m sorry. That sucks. You’re right. It will be okay.” Do not use phrases like “You should” “If you would” “Choose joy” or try to tell me things about Yahweh I already know. The goodness of Yahweh doesn’t negate the pain. The pain does not negate the goodness. The pain is real, and He is with me in it. Do you be with me in it, too. Any indication that  I could heal faster, be better, etc. if I only did _____ is harmful. It slows down the healing process. (See #2 for words that indicate this.)

9) Meet me where I'm at.
I have been told to meet people where they're at so many times I've lost count. I have no problem doing that most of the time, but in this where I am the one who needs support, I expect you to come to me.

10) I am valuable and this is not my fault.
Pain, living with PTSD, grief, and other issues  does not make a person any less valuable (or any less productive). I am not enduring these problems because I don't know Yahweh, I don't have enough faith, or I haven't followed your prescribed set of principles. This is a natural part of life, and what I am doing in working through this will alter creation in a way that is more valuable than if I went out and converted millions of people, if I fed all of the hungry in the world, or if I made boatloads of money (to give to charity). If I speak in the tongues of men and angels but have not love... I am important. I matter. I am worth the long-term investment that walking through this grieving process will entail. This post on my more spiritual blog talks about how to walk through a healing process with someone. Look at number 5. 

Now, I'm being strong worded here, and I'm going to say one more strongly worded thing: If this post offends you, remember that my grief is not about you. This is my rodeo. I'd love some help getting through this, but I cannot continue to carry the burdens of others' feelings and expectations as I continue to get through this. I am not being disrespectful or unloving because I love and respect all of you, but I am setting boundaries and sticking to them. In fact, this post is one step forward in my healing process. Rejoice with me in this. And remember, text me and let me know if you're willing to truly support me.

I am, of course, willing to talk with you when there are misunderstandings. I am not cutting you off automatically if you step wrong and hurt me. Grieving people are vulnerable and often unexpectedly triggered. However, if I have told you multiple times that something you do hurts me and you do not stop doing it, I will probably stop reaching out to you in times of trouble. I am hoping that you will be gracious and love me enough to help me as I need.

Generational Cognitive Dissonance

As a teacher, I think a lot about the future generations. On the nature vs. nurture debate, I fall right in the middle. But one thing I wish people would think more about is the effect of a child's--really any person's--experiences on his/her worldview.

Cognitive dissonance is defined as having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes. I think a lot of cognitive dissonance happens when that which you know to be true is contrary to the experiences you have around you or that which you have experienced that is true is contrary to what everyone is telling you. For example, the news media tells me that my society is going nowhere fast, is full of racists, and is run by corrupt people who don't care about anyone but themselves. My experience tells me that humans are, as a whole, wonderful people who would move Heaven and Earth to help the disadvantaged and who love people regardless of their race, religion, or background. Most people I know are genuinely trying to "do the right thing," though they may not always agree on what that looks like.

I wish that people would understand that the generation in front of us has not had the same experiences we had. MY generation (I'm 30) has not had the same experience as those who grew up in the 1960s-1970s. When we teach them worldviews based on the problems that happened in previous generations, we are creating cognitive dissonance.

I will pause here to say that I am not advocating ignoring history. In fact, it's quite the opposite. We seem to take historical events in isolation and teach them out of context, not allowing our students and children to see the real progress that has been made in a lot of areas. The experiences of history are supposed to be different than the experiences that children see around them. This is how history should be taught, as a different experience and time that has affected and birthed this time, but is not at all the same. Historic problems should not be the focus as we teach children how to see the modern world. This generation has enough of their own issues to deal with without bringing problems from the past forward to show children who have never actually seen them in their own lives. Some people are fighting dragons that have already been slain. They are trying to teach children to fight these dragons as well, and when the children become confused because they don't see the dragon there, they invent the dragons to go with the swords they have been given.

Perhaps instead of teaching children how to solve problems that we have faced, we should take the time to get to know what the problems of THIS generation are--both those which we share across the generations and things we never imagined facing. Cyberbullying was a problem that began with my generation and continues to this day, but the next generation is facing a whole new slew of technological problems that my generation never had to think of. I didn't have Facebook when I was thirteen, so I didn't have to consider what it might to do me in 10-15 years when I was applying for jobs if I posted the silly little things that ran through my 13-year-old mind. Kids today need more foresight than ever before because everything they are doing is memorialized online.

Kids today need to know how to deal with and navigate a world that exists both online and in person. As digital natives, there is no separation for them between what they do online and what they do in real life. This idea that my generation was taught of online anonymity is largely a thing of the past.

In an increasingly polarizing society, kids today need to learn how to validate their own experiences while also validating those of others. I have never seen racism in real life. I've read about historic racism, but that's not what racism looks like today. I've seen the media's portrayal and definition of racism, but I don't trust the media to form my worldview as they play politics and grasp at the most controversial headlines in order to make more money. I've listened to people of other races tell me of their own experiences of racism, and that's where I find truth. My own experiences of having never seen racism are true. My friends' experiences of having seen racism are also true. They don't have to conflict because they are different. I, as an adult, am aware of how this is possible, but many people still see in such black and white that they cannot accept that both of these experiences can be true. They will say either that I am "white-privileged" and am ignoring what's happening all around me or that my friends are crying wolf and saying things are racist when they're really not. Yet, both are real experiences.

This is not to say that there aren't universal lessons or truths to be taught. I absolutely believe that we can gain wisdom from previous generations. History is one of my favorite subjects and I will be the first to admit that I have a lot to learn from the people who have lived longer than I. However, we cannot take the experience of one generation and assume that it is the same or even similar to the experience of another. In order to bridge the "generation gap," we need to spend a lot more time listening and thinking. The world today is completely different than it was when I was 15 or 10, let alone 30-50 years ago. This means that the worldviews are completely different as well. Instead of dismissing the worldviews of the past, or judging them based on modern worldviews, we need to acknowledge where those views were formed and what good we can take from them now. Sorry, guys, not every historical figure needs to have their name removed from monuments because they did something that, by today's standards, would be considered colonialist, racist, imperialist, or whatever other -ist there could be, but which in context was patriotic, adventurous, and pioneering. Neither should we dismiss the views of the upcoming generations because they haven't had the experiences we've had.

We don't need to impose our own experiences on our children because we assume that they are more valid than what our children are experiencing. Neither do we need to hide our experiences from them in order to shelter them from the harsher sides of our own lives. Instead we must understand that "different" doesn't mean "right" or "wrong," and that every generation's experience of the world is going to be different. We can share the worlds together if we would learn that more than one worldview, more than one experience, more than one "world," can exist simultaneously.

As a nation, we make policy decisions based on things of the past without asking if that is going to serve us in the future. Foresight is key! I say all of this because we continually make these choices based on past or present needs without thinking of what that's going to look like in 30-50 years when the people grappling with these policies are not aware of the world or worldview--even the needs-- in which the policy was written. There is a huge difference between telling someone what needs that policy was written to address and having experienced those needs yourself. No matter how many times you explain those needs to the future generations, if your policy is successful, they will not be able to truly understand them. Those needs will be history, and should be taught as such. It is then that the policy must be done away with without fear of returning to the problems of the past.

Reactionary policies and reactionary decision making will only lead to a perpetuation of that which you are reacting to. The ability to work together across the generations to prepare for a world that doesn't even exist yet--because we are still building it together--is a key to our success as a society. This requires an open-mindedness founded on truth, a willingness to listen and consider other points of view, and the time to communicate. This requires flexibility within a set of fundamental guidelines--what's called "universal truth," such as the value of human life.

If we want the future to be brighter, we need to start seeing things differently than the way we've always seen them.

Last Day of July

Well, it's that time of year again... my annual "end of summer" post.

Few people get to experience the joy of the lifestyle that a teacher has. During the school year, we work so hard and are must adhere so closely to a routine and structure. (Seriously, who else knows exactly where they will be at 10:47 every Thursday? Who else mus schedule bathroom breaks for between 9:34-10:25?) In the summer, we are suddenly freed from our routine and workloads. Though most of us take classes at some point during the summer, it is not the strict routine or heavy workload of the school year.

The more I grow in Yahweh, the more the difference between summer and the school year lessens. It's funny to say that because my hours and free time will drastically change, and yet the stress of starting school that I had in previous years is gone. I no longer worry about things that used to bother me incessantly. I'm actually excited to return to school, meet new people, and teach new lessons. (I learned how to teach PHONICS this summer!)

Still, I am ever introspective and I must consider what it means that summer is ending. Yahweh has been talking to me lately about frequency, and the frequency of our dance will change. I'm beginning to enjoy change, and as the dance goes on, I don't really mind the change so long as I have my Dance Partner.

This summer has been different than others, but I say that every summer. Time went by so quickly, I feel like summer just began yesterday. This summer I went on my first missions trip to Belize and met a group of wonderful people. It was an amazing, purposed time for which I will forever be grateful.

My second book was largely completed this summer. I won't get final copies back until September, but the editing and cover design are done.

I have grown so much in Yahweh this summer. I've learned about things that I never even dreamed before, and I started a new blog to talk about some of these things. You can read them about them here. And while some people may not think that this is as big as the other, obvious changes from this summer, I would say that the way you see the world will impact the way you live your life, and so changing the way you see the world will change your life. It certainly has mine.

All in all, it's been a wonderful summer full of adventures, fun with friends, and growing up. I am twenty-nine years old, and most people would consider that grown up, but we never stop growing. And I am more myself today than I have ever been, more aware of Reality and the beauties of the Father.

I shall be sure to enjoy this last week of summer as I have all of the others. Then I will dive into the new school year with equal, if different, enjoyment.