1 Corinthians 2:15 reads thus, "But he who is spiritual judges all things, yet he himself is rightly judged by no one."
Tonight, I finally realized something that has been bothering me about my interactions with people out in the world. People treat me as someone who is not me. They treat me as if I do not have clean hands and a pure heart. It has been frustrating me how they react to some of the things that I say or do, or the mistakes that I make.
I feel like I should be treated as a good-hearted person who very rarely does anything intentionally malicious. No, I'm not perfect and I make mistakes and I have bad days, but overall my heart is pure and I am pro- everybody. I want people to succeed, to be happy, to find Yahweh, even if I snap at them occasionally or they frustrate me. It has confused the ever loving daylights out of me why anyone would be otherwise. Why would you NOT want that for all people? It has confused me as to why someone would treat me like I am otherwise.
I suppose that's all they know. If they assume that everyone is malicious and attempting to find ways to undermine people, they will see that in me. Never mind that they don't know me at all if that is how they see me. This is why the verse above applies here. People cannot judge me if they can't even see me. If they think I am being malicious, they have no vision about me. Yet, people with eyes of the spirit can see the truth.
It is also possible, I think, that some people care more about the result than the intention. I am not that way at all. To me, it is all about the heart. Did you do something with a good heart and not have the best results? Yeah, I may be frustrated if I have to clean up your mess, but I am not at all angry with you or against you. Other people might be. This still confuses me. There is another verse that says "man looks at the outward appearance, but Yahweh looks at the heart." To me, that could also read "man looks at the results, but Yahweh looks at the motivation." I have endless grace for people with good hearts and attitudes... Why can't everybody?
The question becomes: How do we respond in these situations?
I spent over a decade hiding from society because I was tired of being misjudged, maligned, and bullied. We are not called to hide from the world, but to affect change in it. Clearly, this is not the right response for this season.
Yet, how do we interact with the world and protect our hearts at the same time? I mean, I don't necessarily care if people misjudge me, but they often do negative things to me because of this mis-judging. Whether that is gossiping about me or trying to cause me problems with other people, I want to avoid these negative responses that come from the blindness of others.
My goal is to both keep myself safe and show people that there are good and honest hearts out there. If I respond in kind to their actions, I have not fulfilled the latter goal. However, if I let people walk all over me, I have not fulfilled the former goal. I suppose if I continue to be myself, the purity of Yahweh will shine through and people can either accept it or not.
Still, I am frustrated, though I am happy to have learned something. Interacting with people is probably the most confusing thing, but I am starting to be excited about figuring out pieces of the puzzle like tonight. I love how Yahweh teaches us new things!
Monday, May 23, 2016
Thursday, May 19, 2016
Respect
I can't believe I didn't see it before. The part of the word "spect" clearly has to do with the root word of vision or looking.
Yes, respect means look again. It comes from latin. "Re-" back and "specere" look at.
That gives a whole new meaning to the word, doesn't it. People say they want respect. I guess they mean they want to be looked at as worth something and estimable. They want to be looked at again and again so that they feel valuable.
To me, there is no point in looking again until you look deeper. Why look at something another time if you're not going to see more than you did the first time you saw it?
To me, respect means "see with the eyes of Christ." Look again at a situation, person, fear, circumstance, until you see it with Yahweh's eyes.
Respect your fears and you will see they are not worth fearing.
Respect your elders and you will learn something from them each time.
Respect your situations and circumstances and you will see why you're really in them.
Respect your fellow man and you will see the Promise of Yahweh that they embody.
Respect yourself and you will learn who you really are and how valuable you have been created to be.
Respect your God and He will teach you all things, give you all things... even Himself.
Yes, respect means look again. It comes from latin. "Re-" back and "specere" look at.
That gives a whole new meaning to the word, doesn't it. People say they want respect. I guess they mean they want to be looked at as worth something and estimable. They want to be looked at again and again so that they feel valuable.
To me, there is no point in looking again until you look deeper. Why look at something another time if you're not going to see more than you did the first time you saw it?
To me, respect means "see with the eyes of Christ." Look again at a situation, person, fear, circumstance, until you see it with Yahweh's eyes.
Respect your fears and you will see they are not worth fearing.
Respect your elders and you will learn something from them each time.
Respect your situations and circumstances and you will see why you're really in them.
Respect your fellow man and you will see the Promise of Yahweh that they embody.
Respect yourself and you will learn who you really are and how valuable you have been created to be.
Respect your God and He will teach you all things, give you all things... even Himself.
Friday, May 6, 2016
Teacher Appreciation Week
Today was the last day of Teacher Appreciation Week. Our PTO was awesome and got us many goodies including chocolate (which I didn't need, but ate anyway) and dry erase markers (which I always need). Actually, this was probably the best Teacher Appreciation Week I have ever seen.
Teaching is a hard profession, especially in May, which is why I think they put Teacher Appreciation Week in this month. We are always scrambling to wrap up the school year and pull one more essay out of our kids, finish the state tests, complete all the mountains of required paperwork, pack up our classrooms, and file professional development requests. In fact, the "last day of school" is never the "last day of school."
I don't think anyone really knows how hard teaching is unless they are a teacher or a single parent. The only people I've talked to who really understand the difficulties of constantly being on duty on behalf of others are teachers, single parents, and parents of more than six kids. Everybody thinks they know how hard teaching is because they went to school and so they saw it being done. Also, teachers get summer off, and who doesn't love that? (Of course, our paychecks reflect that, too.) Yet, only those who have been there in some way know what it is like to have a profession that requires you to pour into others constantly. Let's just say, we earn those summers!
I had an ironic conversation with my seventh grade girls this past week. We were discussing life in general and the ACT and college in particular. I happened to mention that I got a 21 on the ACT the first time I took it when I was 12. I had already told them that the ACT covers things from about 8-10th grade and that the highest score on the test is a 36. They were surprised at how smart I was. I then told them how I skipped 2 grades, started college at 16, and graduated with a BA at 20. (I swear I've told them this before, but they forget, you know.)
Their faces awed and their eyes wide, they asked, "Why are you a teacher? You could've been something better!"
I was not at all offended and they were not being rude. (Not that they've never been known for that; they are twelve-year-old girls!) They were genuinely curious why I could choose a profession that paid so little and was clearly difficult when I could have done anything I wanted. Some of the comments I heard included that I could've made more money and not had to deal with bratty kids. They floated alternative jobs to me: doctor, veterinarian, policeman, actress. I smiled as I listened to them suggest other career paths, gently telling them why those jobs weren't for me. (Blood=gross, though I did consider being a pediatrician.)
I told the kids that I loved language and I loved kids and I wanted to share my love of language with them. My kids know me well enough by now to realize that I love them, I think, even when I yell and make them do hard projects. I loved having this conversation with them. Getting to have real conversations with my students is one of the most delightful aspects of my job.
Still, it saddened me to realize that this is how people view the teaching profession. I was not surprised, however. We've all heard the old saying, "Those who can't do, teach!" I think society as a whole thinks that teachers are people who couldn't hack it in the "real world" or who weren't smart enough or otherwise capable enough of doing something better. Ninety percent of news stories about teachers are negative. It is assumed that those who demand things like more pay, more support, and less government interference in our classrooms are troublemakers who don't care about their students. I don't understand why anyone would choose teaching as a profession if they did not care about their students. It's certainly not for the money or working conditions.
Really, I can't imagine doing anything else (except writing, which I do anyway). Business doesn't interest me, I neither enjoy nor excel at physical labor, I get this funny feeling at the sight or smell of blood, and I want to stay out of certain situations that other professions might bring me face-to-face with. Believe me, I already see more than I thought to in my current profession.
Teaching is difficult, but what makes teaching difficult is also what makes it worthwhile. My students break my heart on a regular basis. It is difficult to go into work each day knowing that I am fighting that, fighting generational curses that I don't even know, fighting poverty, ignorance, laziness, and fear. I fight on behalf of others and I've only so recently begun to conquer these things on behalf of myself.
I long to save my students from the heartbreak that I went through, and what makes teaching so difficult is knowing that I cannot. Ultimately, they have to make their own decisions. They can receive what I am sharing with them, recognize its value, or they cannot. They can fight me tooth and nail and get nowhere or they can put forth the effort to move from where they are and grow into a place of prosperity. They are ultimately in Yahweh's hands and they will have to meet Him for themselves one day and make their own decisions regarding Him.
I don't understand why society as a whole doesn't see the value in teaching and in teachers. Some people see the value in teachers, I know. I have met some of these people. Still, as a whole, society doesn't value us and I can tell you that because of the support we get. If society valued us, instead of being treated like lazy bums who just aren't getting America's students up to standards, society would look at the system of public education as a whole, the breakdown of the nuclear family, the increase in national poverty, and see that there are situations and circumstances that are beyond the control of the teachers who go into a classroom on a daily basis and fight these situations and circumstances anyway.
Because we are the optimists, the dreamers, the warriors. We are the ones who are willing to go into a no-win situation and believe we can win anyway. We are the ones who dream of a better future and are willing to fight for it on behalf of others. We are teachers, and we are valuable.
So I would like to thank our local PTO and all of the others who support us teachers as we go into battle on a daily basis against the powers and principalities of darkness and bring light by which to see. Just as a warrior cannot fight in a battle without supplies and support, so we cannot do our jobs without resources and backup.
Perhaps if we had more of that, our education system would be a little more successful.
And to all my fellow teachers: Thank you! You are doing an amazing job just by showing up every day and loving those children. I know how you feel. Keep going! It is hard to see it now, but we win in the end.
Teaching is a hard profession, especially in May, which is why I think they put Teacher Appreciation Week in this month. We are always scrambling to wrap up the school year and pull one more essay out of our kids, finish the state tests, complete all the mountains of required paperwork, pack up our classrooms, and file professional development requests. In fact, the "last day of school" is never the "last day of school."
I don't think anyone really knows how hard teaching is unless they are a teacher or a single parent. The only people I've talked to who really understand the difficulties of constantly being on duty on behalf of others are teachers, single parents, and parents of more than six kids. Everybody thinks they know how hard teaching is because they went to school and so they saw it being done. Also, teachers get summer off, and who doesn't love that? (Of course, our paychecks reflect that, too.) Yet, only those who have been there in some way know what it is like to have a profession that requires you to pour into others constantly. Let's just say, we earn those summers!
I had an ironic conversation with my seventh grade girls this past week. We were discussing life in general and the ACT and college in particular. I happened to mention that I got a 21 on the ACT the first time I took it when I was 12. I had already told them that the ACT covers things from about 8-10th grade and that the highest score on the test is a 36. They were surprised at how smart I was. I then told them how I skipped 2 grades, started college at 16, and graduated with a BA at 20. (I swear I've told them this before, but they forget, you know.)
Their faces awed and their eyes wide, they asked, "Why are you a teacher? You could've been something better!"
I was not at all offended and they were not being rude. (Not that they've never been known for that; they are twelve-year-old girls!) They were genuinely curious why I could choose a profession that paid so little and was clearly difficult when I could have done anything I wanted. Some of the comments I heard included that I could've made more money and not had to deal with bratty kids. They floated alternative jobs to me: doctor, veterinarian, policeman, actress. I smiled as I listened to them suggest other career paths, gently telling them why those jobs weren't for me. (Blood=gross, though I did consider being a pediatrician.)
I told the kids that I loved language and I loved kids and I wanted to share my love of language with them. My kids know me well enough by now to realize that I love them, I think, even when I yell and make them do hard projects. I loved having this conversation with them. Getting to have real conversations with my students is one of the most delightful aspects of my job.
Still, it saddened me to realize that this is how people view the teaching profession. I was not surprised, however. We've all heard the old saying, "Those who can't do, teach!" I think society as a whole thinks that teachers are people who couldn't hack it in the "real world" or who weren't smart enough or otherwise capable enough of doing something better. Ninety percent of news stories about teachers are negative. It is assumed that those who demand things like more pay, more support, and less government interference in our classrooms are troublemakers who don't care about their students. I don't understand why anyone would choose teaching as a profession if they did not care about their students. It's certainly not for the money or working conditions.
Really, I can't imagine doing anything else (except writing, which I do anyway). Business doesn't interest me, I neither enjoy nor excel at physical labor, I get this funny feeling at the sight or smell of blood, and I want to stay out of certain situations that other professions might bring me face-to-face with. Believe me, I already see more than I thought to in my current profession.
Teaching is difficult, but what makes teaching difficult is also what makes it worthwhile. My students break my heart on a regular basis. It is difficult to go into work each day knowing that I am fighting that, fighting generational curses that I don't even know, fighting poverty, ignorance, laziness, and fear. I fight on behalf of others and I've only so recently begun to conquer these things on behalf of myself.
I long to save my students from the heartbreak that I went through, and what makes teaching so difficult is knowing that I cannot. Ultimately, they have to make their own decisions. They can receive what I am sharing with them, recognize its value, or they cannot. They can fight me tooth and nail and get nowhere or they can put forth the effort to move from where they are and grow into a place of prosperity. They are ultimately in Yahweh's hands and they will have to meet Him for themselves one day and make their own decisions regarding Him.
I don't understand why society as a whole doesn't see the value in teaching and in teachers. Some people see the value in teachers, I know. I have met some of these people. Still, as a whole, society doesn't value us and I can tell you that because of the support we get. If society valued us, instead of being treated like lazy bums who just aren't getting America's students up to standards, society would look at the system of public education as a whole, the breakdown of the nuclear family, the increase in national poverty, and see that there are situations and circumstances that are beyond the control of the teachers who go into a classroom on a daily basis and fight these situations and circumstances anyway.
Because we are the optimists, the dreamers, the warriors. We are the ones who are willing to go into a no-win situation and believe we can win anyway. We are the ones who dream of a better future and are willing to fight for it on behalf of others. We are teachers, and we are valuable.
So I would like to thank our local PTO and all of the others who support us teachers as we go into battle on a daily basis against the powers and principalities of darkness and bring light by which to see. Just as a warrior cannot fight in a battle without supplies and support, so we cannot do our jobs without resources and backup.
Perhaps if we had more of that, our education system would be a little more successful.
And to all my fellow teachers: Thank you! You are doing an amazing job just by showing up every day and loving those children. I know how you feel. Keep going! It is hard to see it now, but we win in the end.
Sunday, April 24, 2016
Beyond Worth It
I promise you it is worth it. Yahweh and this Kingdom life are worth it! Whatever you may have to go through is worth it. If we are on a Kingdom path, we've probably been through enough trials and testing times to know that already, but in case you forgot...
Recently, I went through a time when I was afraid I would not be able to keep going. I was not sure I had the strength or fortitude to keep choosing the Kingdom path when the enemy was besetting me with so many opportunities to completely quit.
My ecclesia family gather around me quite a few times and helped me through that time (thank you!), but it was so very hard because I could not sense that Yahweh was with me. The worst part was that it was so hard to worship Him, not because He wasn't worthy or worship. I knew He was! I desperately wanted to worship Him, to enter His presence, but there was something blocking that.
I thought I was going to die. Literally. I knew if I quit, I would literally die. My purpose would die with me; my part in Yahweh's vision would die, too.
I also knew Yahweh was worth it and I would be ok if I could find Him again.
I did not find Him; He found me.
Not only was it worth it to keep going because I received what He promised me, but when I kept going, I remembered promises He made to me that I had forgotten, Words He whispered to my spirit at my very creation.
As we keep going, we receive much more than we think we will.
The enemy will try to kill us, try to stop us, try to get us to give up and walk away because it is such a hard path. But I ask you, what is easier, exactly? The path that leads to a place without Yahweh, that leads ultimately to death? If not our literal death, the deaths of our purpose and vision?
It is worth it. I never knew how worth it it would be. I knew just enough to keep going, but oh! There was so much more waiting for me on the other side than I ever imagined possible.
Recently, I went through a time when I was afraid I would not be able to keep going. I was not sure I had the strength or fortitude to keep choosing the Kingdom path when the enemy was besetting me with so many opportunities to completely quit.
My ecclesia family gather around me quite a few times and helped me through that time (thank you!), but it was so very hard because I could not sense that Yahweh was with me. The worst part was that it was so hard to worship Him, not because He wasn't worthy or worship. I knew He was! I desperately wanted to worship Him, to enter His presence, but there was something blocking that.
I thought I was going to die. Literally. I knew if I quit, I would literally die. My purpose would die with me; my part in Yahweh's vision would die, too.
I also knew Yahweh was worth it and I would be ok if I could find Him again.
I did not find Him; He found me.
Not only was it worth it to keep going because I received what He promised me, but when I kept going, I remembered promises He made to me that I had forgotten, Words He whispered to my spirit at my very creation.
As we keep going, we receive much more than we think we will.
The enemy will try to kill us, try to stop us, try to get us to give up and walk away because it is such a hard path. But I ask you, what is easier, exactly? The path that leads to a place without Yahweh, that leads ultimately to death? If not our literal death, the deaths of our purpose and vision?
It is worth it. I never knew how worth it it would be. I knew just enough to keep going, but oh! There was so much more waiting for me on the other side than I ever imagined possible.
Monday, April 11, 2016
Somebody Has to Say Yes
It's been a long time since I've blogged. I've grown aeons in the past few months, and it seems like forever ago that October was or August began. I think it's been years, really. It's been a trip, but all things work together for good and I've learned so much in the past few months.
Today I was writing and I got a revelation. I realized that I matter, that I'm important. It's easy to think that's not true. The enemy loves to tell us otherwise. I mean, why would Yahweh really need us anyway? He is omnipotent, sovereign. He is able to redeem all things together for good. If His Word never returns void, even if I do not pick up the mantle, someone else will come along and carry it.
I've always thought that that meant that it didn't really matter what I did except to me. In other words, it would cost the Kingdom nothing if I were not in it, but it would cost me everything. Yahweh has always been my everything, and the thought of not getting to be with Him or receive the fullness of all He is and all He has for me has impelled me to keep going through the roughest times in my life. Still, I thought that was only my blessing, the ability to receive Yahweh. His is my inheritance and I love Him and I would go through anything to be with Him.
I never thought that it would be important to Him, important to His Kingdom. After all, He has decided to work through people, but He can work through any person, right? If not me, than somebody else will come along who will agree with Him and carry His Kingdom on to completion, right?
Tonight I realized that we could all say that, and we could be waiting for a thousand years for the next person who would agree to pick up the mantle, the anointing that Yahweh has placed in the Earth. Each and every one of us could pass the buck and say that somebody else can do it. Yahweh can redeem all things. His Word will never return void.
But somebody has to say yes. For Yahweh's Word to manifest in the Earth, He has declared and decreed that His people, in whom He placed His Holy Spirit, would have to have faith in His Word and come into agreement with the purposes, plans, and visions He has for not only their lives, but the metrons they live in, and the grander tapestry of creation.
We are the ones who will say yes. We are the sons creation cries out for, groaning with eagerness and awaiting our adoption. We are the ones who will carry His Kingdom on to completion, the ones Yahweh has been waiting for, the ones He has been scanning the Earth for.
He has been waiting for a people who would believe in His Word, and more than believe. He has been waiting for a people who would take His Word as a seed, meditate on it, grow it, nurture it. He has been waiting for a people who would bring His Word to the fullness of manifestation on the Earth as it already is in Heaven. We are a people who will not simply pray and ask Yahweh for His will to be done in the Earth. Instead, we will allow Him to work through us to make it so!
We are a strong nation, a mighty ecclesia, Yahweh's Zadokim. His people. We matter. We are important. Without us, He has to wait and wait and wait.
Yahweh has been waiting for a people of faith. I will not make Him wait any longer. I am a person of faith. I matter. I say yes, and amen. HalleluYah!
Today I was writing and I got a revelation. I realized that I matter, that I'm important. It's easy to think that's not true. The enemy loves to tell us otherwise. I mean, why would Yahweh really need us anyway? He is omnipotent, sovereign. He is able to redeem all things together for good. If His Word never returns void, even if I do not pick up the mantle, someone else will come along and carry it.
I've always thought that that meant that it didn't really matter what I did except to me. In other words, it would cost the Kingdom nothing if I were not in it, but it would cost me everything. Yahweh has always been my everything, and the thought of not getting to be with Him or receive the fullness of all He is and all He has for me has impelled me to keep going through the roughest times in my life. Still, I thought that was only my blessing, the ability to receive Yahweh. His is my inheritance and I love Him and I would go through anything to be with Him.
I never thought that it would be important to Him, important to His Kingdom. After all, He has decided to work through people, but He can work through any person, right? If not me, than somebody else will come along who will agree with Him and carry His Kingdom on to completion, right?
Tonight I realized that we could all say that, and we could be waiting for a thousand years for the next person who would agree to pick up the mantle, the anointing that Yahweh has placed in the Earth. Each and every one of us could pass the buck and say that somebody else can do it. Yahweh can redeem all things. His Word will never return void.
But somebody has to say yes. For Yahweh's Word to manifest in the Earth, He has declared and decreed that His people, in whom He placed His Holy Spirit, would have to have faith in His Word and come into agreement with the purposes, plans, and visions He has for not only their lives, but the metrons they live in, and the grander tapestry of creation.
We are the ones who will say yes. We are the sons creation cries out for, groaning with eagerness and awaiting our adoption. We are the ones who will carry His Kingdom on to completion, the ones Yahweh has been waiting for, the ones He has been scanning the Earth for.
He has been waiting for a people who would believe in His Word, and more than believe. He has been waiting for a people who would take His Word as a seed, meditate on it, grow it, nurture it. He has been waiting for a people who would bring His Word to the fullness of manifestation on the Earth as it already is in Heaven. We are a people who will not simply pray and ask Yahweh for His will to be done in the Earth. Instead, we will allow Him to work through us to make it so!
We are a strong nation, a mighty ecclesia, Yahweh's Zadokim. His people. We matter. We are important. Without us, He has to wait and wait and wait.
Yahweh has been waiting for a people of faith. I will not make Him wait any longer. I am a person of faith. I matter. I say yes, and amen. HalleluYah!
Sunday, October 18, 2015
Yahweh Shows His Provision Through A Luggage Ticket
So I've recently come home from a teaching conference in Columbus, Ohio. It was very interesting and useful, but it lasted until almost 1:00 on Saturday. Check out time at most hotels is 11:00, and so we had to put our bags in this special room that the hotel has to hold luggage while we attended the rest of the conference.
In order to ensure the security of our bags, the hotel keeps the room locked and a person inside of it and gives us tickets to match the ones they put on our bags. We are supposed to show these tickets to the person inside the room so that they can give us our bags back.
So I get my tag and put it in my pocket and we go to breakfast and then to the rest of the conference. Now, everyone knows we should not put things in our pockets if they are important and we don't want to lose them. Why I forgot this, I couldn't say, but I noticed during the last session of the conference that morning that I had lost my luggage ticket.
This was slightly worrisome because the hotel had made it very clear that they did not return bags unless the luggage ticket was produced. Still, I had no idea where I had lost the ticket and the conference was held in a convention center that was bigger than the school in which I teach. It could've been anywhere! Not only that, but it could've been in the hotel itself, at the restaurant where we'd had breakfast, or on the street between the hotel and restaurant. There was no way I could, by diligently searching, hope to come upon this lost ticket.
Since this was so thoroughly out of my control, I didn't worry overlong. I reasoned that the hotel would have to give me my bags eventually and we'd have to figure something out. Since my two favorite shirts were in that bag, I certainly hoped so!
So the conference ended and my friends from the school I teach at and I were deciding on where to go get lunch before we picked up our bags and headed to the airport. We tried the food court in the hotel, and found some moderately decent fast-food type restaurants. The rest of downtown Columbus seemed too much to walk in the frigid weather, so we had to decide whether we wanted to eat in the food court or walk to the restaurant right across the street where we'd had breakfast.
The more we talked about it, the more we wanted to return to the restaurant where we'd eaten breakfast earlier that day. We still hadn't claimed our bags yet, so we didn't have to drag them around with us.
When we got to the restaurant, the lady who seated us decided to seat us in the exact same spot where we'd eaten breakfast. She sat us there even though there was another option because one of my friends was in a walking boot since she broke her foot earlier this school year. It was there, next to the booth where we'd eaten breakfast, that I found my luggage ticket!
Happily surprised, but somewhat wondering if this could possibly be my exact luggage ticket, I put the paper in my zipped up backpack front pocket (see, I learned) and ate lunch. After that, we went back to the hotel and claimed our bags.
I was even more glad I'd found the ticket when the hotel clerk made a big show of checking our tickets before returning our bags to us. I also found that the number on my ticket matched exactly the number on the other half of the ticket that was attached to my bag.
Yahweh provides! Whether or not I spent the whole morning worrying about how I was going to get my luggage, He had that ticket there for me to find all along. In realizing that I had no control over finding that ticket, I saved myself hours worth of worrying and still found the ticket anyway.
Meanwhile, Yahweh proves Himself a faithful father once again, and I am thoroughly blessed.
In order to ensure the security of our bags, the hotel keeps the room locked and a person inside of it and gives us tickets to match the ones they put on our bags. We are supposed to show these tickets to the person inside the room so that they can give us our bags back.
So I get my tag and put it in my pocket and we go to breakfast and then to the rest of the conference. Now, everyone knows we should not put things in our pockets if they are important and we don't want to lose them. Why I forgot this, I couldn't say, but I noticed during the last session of the conference that morning that I had lost my luggage ticket.
This was slightly worrisome because the hotel had made it very clear that they did not return bags unless the luggage ticket was produced. Still, I had no idea where I had lost the ticket and the conference was held in a convention center that was bigger than the school in which I teach. It could've been anywhere! Not only that, but it could've been in the hotel itself, at the restaurant where we'd had breakfast, or on the street between the hotel and restaurant. There was no way I could, by diligently searching, hope to come upon this lost ticket.
Since this was so thoroughly out of my control, I didn't worry overlong. I reasoned that the hotel would have to give me my bags eventually and we'd have to figure something out. Since my two favorite shirts were in that bag, I certainly hoped so!
So the conference ended and my friends from the school I teach at and I were deciding on where to go get lunch before we picked up our bags and headed to the airport. We tried the food court in the hotel, and found some moderately decent fast-food type restaurants. The rest of downtown Columbus seemed too much to walk in the frigid weather, so we had to decide whether we wanted to eat in the food court or walk to the restaurant right across the street where we'd had breakfast.
The more we talked about it, the more we wanted to return to the restaurant where we'd eaten breakfast earlier that day. We still hadn't claimed our bags yet, so we didn't have to drag them around with us.
When we got to the restaurant, the lady who seated us decided to seat us in the exact same spot where we'd eaten breakfast. She sat us there even though there was another option because one of my friends was in a walking boot since she broke her foot earlier this school year. It was there, next to the booth where we'd eaten breakfast, that I found my luggage ticket!
Happily surprised, but somewhat wondering if this could possibly be my exact luggage ticket, I put the paper in my zipped up backpack front pocket (see, I learned) and ate lunch. After that, we went back to the hotel and claimed our bags.
I was even more glad I'd found the ticket when the hotel clerk made a big show of checking our tickets before returning our bags to us. I also found that the number on my ticket matched exactly the number on the other half of the ticket that was attached to my bag.
Yahweh provides! Whether or not I spent the whole morning worrying about how I was going to get my luggage, He had that ticket there for me to find all along. In realizing that I had no control over finding that ticket, I saved myself hours worth of worrying and still found the ticket anyway.
Meanwhile, Yahweh proves Himself a faithful father once again, and I am thoroughly blessed.
Sunday, October 11, 2015
The Seeing of the Unseen
Faith is the seeing of the unseen. Vision is the root word of "evidence" from Hebrews 11:1. Those who can see what isn't seen can make it manifest in substance.
Sometimes, it is hard to be the ones who see the unseen. It can feel like failure, like going backwards and re-walking a path over and over again. It is those days when you're feeling awful, like that dream of your heart is so far beyond your grasp, and you wonder why because you remember feeling better months before, remember holding and touching and feeling that very same dream and you're not quite sure how it slipped away.
How could it have slipped away unless you did something wrong, for a promise of Yahweh is never void, and He does not renege on what He has spoken.
But faith is the seeing of the unseen, and so the process requires a period of darkness after you've seen that dream of your heart. Sometimes, that period lasts a short time and sometimes it feels like it will never end, but the time period of unseen does not matter nearly so much as the promise itself.
Because it is during this time of not seeing that faith is made complete, that the promise that Yahweh gave you of that deepest desire of your heart is closer than ever to permanent manifestation. You are about to touch and hold and live in that dream and desire of your heart forever, for before it was a dream in your heart, it was first a dream in Yahweh's.
Your faith makes Yahweh's dreams come true.
I am full of faith right now, though I do not feel it. I feel very much on the edge of failure. I feel very alone and uncared for. I feel very sad and afraid. But I have seen and I remember.
I have seen a time when I did not wake up in dread of each day, fearful of messing up. There was a day when I knew that I could not break what Yahweh has established, when I realized that I was not going to mess anything up because Yahweh has already redeemed it. It's all His and in His hands anyway, and I do not have to carry this burden.
I have seen a time when I knew for certain that I was not broken. No longer am I lacking anything. Yahweh has made me whole. I don't have to fight myself or fear my feelings anymore. I am not at fault for anything that is happening in or around me. Yes, there will be times when Yahweh corrects me, and when He does it is not with blame or guilt, but with gentleness and care.
I have seen a time when I had a home in my Father. When there was someone to take care of me, to protect me from everything that might try to come against me. He ordered my steps and arranged my life to lead me back to Him and the place where I was always meant to be all along. I can trust Him as a Father, as One who is always on my side, will always take care of me. Always love me. He will never leave me and I will never be alone. He has always been faithful in the past, and I have seen His faithfulness all my life.
I have seen the place where I will live, and it is just ahead of me. It is a place of infinite trust in Yahweh, of leaving things in His hands and not having to control anything. Of trusting Him to keep my heart safe even when all around me are circumstances and situations designed to pierce it and tear it to ribbons. In this place I will walk in a greater level of freedom and rest and peace than I have ever known before. I glimpsed it for a little while, but now I shall walk in it permanently. For I have seen it.
I have seen, and I remember. The light shone in the darkness and the darkness will not overcome it. Faith is the art of keeping the light on when all around you is darkness, the steadfast holding of the Word that you've seen even when you cannot fully envision it anymore. Faith is seeing the unseen, and this time is just part of the process of maturity.
For if sin, when it is full-grown, leads to death, fully mature faith leads to the manifestation of Yahweh's promises in the visible realm so that all can see what we've seen all along.
And when this happens it is called glory. So glory! HalleluYah! I have seen.
Sometimes, it is hard to be the ones who see the unseen. It can feel like failure, like going backwards and re-walking a path over and over again. It is those days when you're feeling awful, like that dream of your heart is so far beyond your grasp, and you wonder why because you remember feeling better months before, remember holding and touching and feeling that very same dream and you're not quite sure how it slipped away.
How could it have slipped away unless you did something wrong, for a promise of Yahweh is never void, and He does not renege on what He has spoken.
But faith is the seeing of the unseen, and so the process requires a period of darkness after you've seen that dream of your heart. Sometimes, that period lasts a short time and sometimes it feels like it will never end, but the time period of unseen does not matter nearly so much as the promise itself.
Because it is during this time of not seeing that faith is made complete, that the promise that Yahweh gave you of that deepest desire of your heart is closer than ever to permanent manifestation. You are about to touch and hold and live in that dream and desire of your heart forever, for before it was a dream in your heart, it was first a dream in Yahweh's.
Your faith makes Yahweh's dreams come true.
I am full of faith right now, though I do not feel it. I feel very much on the edge of failure. I feel very alone and uncared for. I feel very sad and afraid. But I have seen and I remember.
I have seen a time when I did not wake up in dread of each day, fearful of messing up. There was a day when I knew that I could not break what Yahweh has established, when I realized that I was not going to mess anything up because Yahweh has already redeemed it. It's all His and in His hands anyway, and I do not have to carry this burden.
I have seen a time when I knew for certain that I was not broken. No longer am I lacking anything. Yahweh has made me whole. I don't have to fight myself or fear my feelings anymore. I am not at fault for anything that is happening in or around me. Yes, there will be times when Yahweh corrects me, and when He does it is not with blame or guilt, but with gentleness and care.
I have seen a time when I had a home in my Father. When there was someone to take care of me, to protect me from everything that might try to come against me. He ordered my steps and arranged my life to lead me back to Him and the place where I was always meant to be all along. I can trust Him as a Father, as One who is always on my side, will always take care of me. Always love me. He will never leave me and I will never be alone. He has always been faithful in the past, and I have seen His faithfulness all my life.
I have seen the place where I will live, and it is just ahead of me. It is a place of infinite trust in Yahweh, of leaving things in His hands and not having to control anything. Of trusting Him to keep my heart safe even when all around me are circumstances and situations designed to pierce it and tear it to ribbons. In this place I will walk in a greater level of freedom and rest and peace than I have ever known before. I glimpsed it for a little while, but now I shall walk in it permanently. For I have seen it.
I have seen, and I remember. The light shone in the darkness and the darkness will not overcome it. Faith is the art of keeping the light on when all around you is darkness, the steadfast holding of the Word that you've seen even when you cannot fully envision it anymore. Faith is seeing the unseen, and this time is just part of the process of maturity.
For if sin, when it is full-grown, leads to death, fully mature faith leads to the manifestation of Yahweh's promises in the visible realm so that all can see what we've seen all along.
And when this happens it is called glory. So glory! HalleluYah! I have seen.
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